Changing Your Behavior for Results

Enjoy this short, impactful process designed to change your behavior so you get results in your business and/or personal life.

Immediately after completing this exercise, share your thoughts and reactions with your group. Then, post comments here about your experience and outcomes.

This process is taken from the Harvard Business Review article, "An Exercise in Changing Yourself." Click here to read the full HBR article.

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Are You Hurting Bad Enough?

One morning a man was sitting on his porch with his dog who was lying there groaning. A passerby stopped and asked why the dog was groaning.

Man: He's lying on a nail
Passerby: Why doesn't he just get up?
Man: He ain't hurtin' bad enough

I heard this story several years ago and it's always worth sharing.

The moral is there are people who talk about what's wrong or what's missing in their lives; yet, they never really take action toward creating change. Instead, they "groan" about their situation. Why? Because they are not hurting badly enough to get up and go after what they want.

Oftentimes people say they aren't pursuing their dreams because, at the moment, they lack the drive; they're low on money; they're too busy; they want to shed a few pounds first; they're too young or too old... When I ask how long they've been putting their dreams on hold, it turns out it's been years!

To achieve a dream or to create change in your life, think about how badly you want it. Begin developing belief and reflect all that is possible within you by changing your thoughts; e.g., "I WILL do this." "This is possible." Imagine yourself already achieving your dream and start taking the action steps that will get you there.

Get off the nail, stop groaning, and start doing!

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Challenge Rules If They Don't Make Sense

In 1963, psychologist Stanley Milgram conducted an experiment on obedience, now known as The Milgram Experiment.

In this experiment, participants were divided into groups of teachers and students. The "teachers" were asked to administer painful electric shocks to "students" who gave incorrect answers to questions. The shocks weren’t real, though the teachers did not know that. As the experiment progressed, the teachers grew concerned and asked if it was okay to continue. They were encouraged to do so and were assured they would not be held responsible for the outcomes.

The participants were given more and more painful shocks and they screamed in pain; some even banged on the wall and pretended to complain of a bad heart. In the end, 65% of the teachers obeyed orders to punish the students to the very end of the 450-volt scale! No one stopped before reaching 300 volts. If the shocks were real the participants would have died.

In 2006 I told the story of the Milgram Experiment in a speech about taking the road less traveled. I provided "7 Steps to the Road Less Traveled"; step number three was "Challenge Rules If They Don't Make Sense." This step holds true today.

Wherever there are rules that don't make sense, exercise the courage to challenge them. Your decision to do so may make a difference in your life or the lives of others.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Judge Me by Who I Am Today, Not by Who I Was Yesterday

Do you know someone who judges you by your past actions and behaviors despite the fact that you have grown emotionally, spiritually, or stronger in character?

As I read the chapter, "Kill a Mosquito with an Ax to Conquer Your Goals" by motivational speaker Les Brown, the following words resonated with me:

"I firmly believe you have to move outside of your normal relationships to really make something happen in your life. Why? Well…some people know too much about you and will not let you forget it. I still have some childhood friends who recall how bad I was in school or how many times I screwed up early in my career."

Les's words resonated with me because I am sometimes reminded of things I have said or done in the past. Things that do not reflect who I am today. It takes hard work, discipline and time--among other things--to learn, grow and change as a person. Work that someone else may not be willing to do. So, when someone reminds you of who you once were, tell them to judge you by who you are today, not by who you were yesterday.

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Les Brown's chapter is published in the new book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life (coming June 2010). My chapter "Your Dream Won't Find You" is also published in the same book.

Be Careful What You DON'T Wish For

Here's a simple exercise: over the next 2-3 days make a mental or physical note of the number of times you say you DON'T want something. "I don't want to be late," "I don't want to gain extra pounds" etc. Over time you will notice that the thing you DON'T want is the thing you will most likely get. Why? Because when you focus on what you DON'T want, that is what you will attract into your life. Similarly, when you focus on what you DO want that is what you will attract.

At the 2008 summer Olympics, the USA women's team recalled their disappointment over dropping the baton during the 400-meter relay in 2004. What do you think they focused on for 2008? "DON'T drop the baton!" What do you think, happened during the race? They once again dropped the baton and were disqualified from the preliminaries.

When you focus on "I don't want..." you are focusing on your fears and you may even see the negative outcome in your mind. Instead, come from a place of empowerment, faith, and confidence. Empower yourself to see the end result you desire, truly believe you will achieve those results, and be confident about your outcomes. Change your language to reflect the outcomes you want. Instead of, "I don't want to be late," say, "I will be on time." Your attitudes and behaviors will begin to reflect the outcome you want.

Here is an example of an extraordinary man I met on Twitter...Mr. Paul V. Harris. As a result of an unfortunate accident, Paul was burned over most of his body and yet everyday he continues to inspire others. Watch Paul's short video about getting results through focus > click here

In those moments when I come from empowerment, faith, and confidence and my results were not as expected, I look for the lesson. Sometimes I realize I was being spared from something: heartache, a poor financial investment; or there was some higher opportunity waiting for me. I then apply those lessons to my life and share them with others, so they may learn and grow.

To transform your outcomes, shift your focus and your language from what you don't want to what you DO want. Come from a place of empowerment, faith, and confidence. And, in the words of Henry David Thoreau, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

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Make Action Plans, Not Excuses

For the first time ever, I caught a glimpse of the reality TV show "So You Think You Can Dance." Although I am not a big reality TV show watcher, I admit I found the performance by Jarrell Robinson, a hearing impaired man, inspiring.

The judges were impressed and although they did not move Robinson to the next round they, too, found him inspiring.

In the upcoming book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I talk about how some people make excuses, not action plans. This man did the opposite. He did not make excuses. He did not say, "I cannot hear music, so I won't dance." No. Instead he made a plan and what's more he followed through.

As you think of the things you want to achieve, make action plans, not excuses; and reflect on the Van Gogh quote, "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced."

Even when you've been ground into the dirt, you are still priceless

I am not sure of the original author and although it's not new, I believe this story is worth sharing again:

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless especially to those who love you.