It’s Time To Stop Blaming Yourself

“When you know better, you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

As humans, we do not always take the best course of action. This means we are likely to make mistakes that hurt others -- including our loved ones.

Years later, unable to forgive ourselves, we live in a state of perpetual blame and guilt. It's time to stop blaming yourself for negative decisions and actions you've made in the past.

Whether you didn't spend enough time with your children, didn't love your parents enough... forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.

If you've genuinely asked for the forgiveness of others (and you'd be wise to do so); yet they continue to hold your actions against you, you are no longer responsible for facilitating their forgiveness.

This does not mean you resent those individuals who are not willing to forgive you. They may not be ready to do so and perhaps they never will.

Unawareness (or unconsciousness) of how your actions might affect others can cause you to think and act in ways that do not promote positive outcomes. (For more on consciousness, I HIGHLY recommend the book A New Earth.)

For example, you might have been unaware that spending more time at the office, instead of with your children, caused them to feel neglected and abandoned.

To paraphrase the wise Maya Angelou, now that you know better, you DO BETTER.

Real Leadership: Maya Angelou

"The honorary duty of a human being is to love.” –Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou

Dr. Angelou has proven to be a leader of character through her personal values, her profound body of work, the wisdom she imparts, and her humanitarian spirit.

Born in 1928, Dr. Angelou has earned prominence as a poet, educator, author, actress, producer, filmmaker, and civil rights activist. She has served on two presidential committees and is currently the Reynolds Professor of American Studies at Wake Forest University.

Through her seemingly endless array of talents and contributions, Dr. Angelou has abundantly imparted messages of love, tolerance, faith, courage, boldness, gratitude, respect, humility, and appreciation for life.

Works
Among her many works are the internationally-acclaimed I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (an autobiographical account of her youth), the poem Still I Rise, and her screenplay Georgia, which was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.
Read biography

Honors and Achievements
In 2011, Dr. Angelou was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. “I try to be as kind and fair, and generous…and respectful, and courteous to every human being,” says Angelou.
Watch video

In 2008, she received the Lincoln Medal and in 2000 was awarded the Presidential Medal for the Arts. In 1975, she received the Ladies Home Journal Woman of the Year Award in communications.

She was appointed by President Jimmy Carter to the National Commission on the Observance of International Woman's Year and by President Ford to the American Revolutionary Bicentennial Advisory Council. She is the recipient of numerous honorary degrees.

Dr. Angelou continues to build on her distinguished legacy and remains a powerful voice that lifts, educates, empowers, and inspires.

The Real Leadership Series is a monthly blog written by Christine Ferguson. Click here to visit the RLS site and read more blogs on real leaders, subscribe, or nominate a leader of character

Maya Angelou photo is the property of mayaangelou.com and Dwight Carter. No copyright infringement intended.