It’s Time To Stop Blaming Yourself

“When you know better, you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

As humans, we do not always take the best course of action. This means we are likely to make mistakes that hurt others -- including our loved ones.

Years later, unable to forgive ourselves, we live in a state of perpetual blame and guilt. It's time to stop blaming yourself for negative decisions and actions you've made in the past.

Whether you didn't spend enough time with your children, didn't love your parents enough... forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.

If you've genuinely asked for the forgiveness of others (and you'd be wise to do so); yet they continue to hold your actions against you, you are no longer responsible for facilitating their forgiveness.

This does not mean you resent those individuals who are not willing to forgive you. They may not be ready to do so and perhaps they never will.

Unawareness (or unconsciousness) of how your actions might affect others can cause you to think and act in ways that do not promote positive outcomes. (For more on consciousness, I HIGHLY recommend the book A New Earth.)

For example, you might have been unaware that spending more time at the office, instead of with your children, caused them to feel neglected and abandoned.

To paraphrase the wise Maya Angelou, now that you know better, you DO BETTER.

To Set Yourself Up For Success Ask This Important Question

As you set out to achieve your goals and dreams, you may be asking what you need to do in order to bring them to fruition.

Another important question to ask is, "Who do I need to become to get from where I am to where I want to be?" Who you are is not a matter of what you do for a living. Rather, it is a matter of who you are on the inside.

Here are a few questions to consider (and why to consider them) as you assess who to become:

Am I grateful for what I already have?
Why: Be grateful for what you already have before expecting more.
This also means being grateful for your challenges because they serve a purpose in your life. "If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will begin to see more." ~ Oprah Winfrey

Do I operate from my ego or from humility?
Why: The ego is the source of many of our problems.
As Eckhart Tolle states in his blockbuster book, A New Earth, "Many people don't realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are."

Do I genuinely care about others?
Why: Life is largely about caring for your fellowman.
When you care about others you enrich their lives and ultimately your own. Watch this short, powerful video of a CNN Hero who does exactly that.

Do I choose positive thoughts over negative ones?
Why: Whatever you give your focus and energy to, that is what you attract into your life.
You may not always be able to control what happens to you in life. However, you can choose your attitude.

As you assess who to become to get to where you want to be, consider qualities that will strengthen your character, attract opportunities into your life, and positively set you up to manage the successes (and setbacks) that come your way.