It’s Time To Stop Blaming Yourself

“When you know better, you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

As humans, we do not always take the best course of action. This means we are likely to make mistakes that hurt others -- including our loved ones.

Years later, unable to forgive ourselves, we live in a state of perpetual blame and guilt. It's time to stop blaming yourself for negative decisions and actions you've made in the past.

Whether you didn't spend enough time with your children, didn't love your parents enough... forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.

If you've genuinely asked for the forgiveness of others (and you'd be wise to do so); yet they continue to hold your actions against you, you are no longer responsible for facilitating their forgiveness.

This does not mean you resent those individuals who are not willing to forgive you. They may not be ready to do so and perhaps they never will.

Unawareness (or unconsciousness) of how your actions might affect others can cause you to think and act in ways that do not promote positive outcomes. (For more on consciousness, I HIGHLY recommend the book A New Earth.)

For example, you might have been unaware that spending more time at the office, instead of with your children, caused them to feel neglected and abandoned.

To paraphrase the wise Maya Angelou, now that you know better, you DO BETTER.

A Father's Love is Sometimes Unspoken: An Unforgettable Discovery of Truth

Like some dads, my father did not express his emotions often.

Thirty years after his passing, I continued to believe he may not have loved me very much. That is, until one day when I had an unforgettable experience.

Three years ago, while attending a personal development course, the trainer instructed the group to get into pairs and complete an exercise on appreciating and understanding our parents.

As it turned out, the man I had partnered with was an educated, intelligent young man from the Caribbean—just like my dad. The instructor turned down the lights, and I closed my eyes and began speaking with my partner as if he were my father.

The words that came out of my mouth went something like, “You were always so strict with us and I feel you never really loved me.”

With my eyes still closed, I heard this loving and peaceful reply assuring me I was loved. “You see,” said the voice, “I was raised to be a strong man. That was my way. I wanted you to be strong. I wanted the best for you.”

I heard what seemed to be my father’s voice, continuing to speak with me and putting to rest the doubts I had carried for so long.

Within minutes, tears were streaming down my face because not only did I understand; I also felt that in some way my father was at peace for finally sharing these thoughts with me.

On this Father’s Day, enjoy this inspiring video, in which the true story of Dick Hoyt and his son Rick unfold. As you watch, know that although your father may not express his love for you by running marathons, he loves you in his own way.

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