How To Approach Annoying People and Situations

“If you don’t get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants—or skirt—to give you some remedial work.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

“Why does my pesky co-worker keep asking me to teach her the same task over and over?” “How come my cousin never comes to my defense when I’m faced with conflict?” “Why is my friend such a scatterbrain? You won’t believe what she did!”

I’ve been asked these and other questions by people frustrated with everything from co-workers to relatives.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, here’s an approach that benefits you and the other person.

Seek First To Understand
You may not always know what someone has experienced or is experiencing in his or her life or why s/he acts in a certain way. Perhaps the co-worker who repeatedly requests your help is fearful of making mistakes and sees you as someone s/he can trust to help overcome the situation.

When you take the time to treat others with patience and understanding, rather than with judgments and criticisms, the same comes back to you and the other person remembers you for how you treated him or her.

It’s Not About Them, It’s About You
Your frustrating experiences are usually not about the other person. Quite often they are about how YOU choose to respond in those moments. Do you treat others with kindness and respect? Do you treat them like they matter? Or do you see them as idiots who deserve your ire?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

All of humanity is faced with situations that test us and build our character. When you choose to respond with anger, impatience, or disrespectfulness, the lesson (patience, respect, understanding, humility...) continues to show up until it is learned.

This concept can be difficult for some to grasp. “You don’t understand,” they’ll say, “this person is taking up my time…making my life miserable…inconveniencing me…” So they continue to respond in the same manner while wondering why such frustrating situations persist.

Certainly you get to set boundaries so others treat you fairly and respectfully. Even so, you can choose to resolve situations respectfully.

The next time you are faced with an "annoying" person or frustrating situation, stop and think of the other person and choose how you will respond to him or her. Remember, s/he is your fellowman. And ask yourself what lesson you may be learning in that moment.

To Set Yourself Up For Success Ask This Important Question

As you set out to achieve your goals and dreams, you may be asking what you need to do in order to bring them to fruition.

Another important question to ask is, "Who do I need to become to get from where I am to where I want to be?" Who you are is not a matter of what you do for a living. Rather, it is a matter of who you are on the inside.

Here are a few questions to consider (and why to consider them) as you assess who to become:

Am I grateful for what I already have?
Why: Be grateful for what you already have before expecting more.
This also means being grateful for your challenges because they serve a purpose in your life. "If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will begin to see more." ~ Oprah Winfrey

Do I operate from my ego or from humility?
Why: The ego is the source of many of our problems.
As Eckhart Tolle states in his blockbuster book, A New Earth, "Many people don't realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are."

Do I genuinely care about others?
Why: Life is largely about caring for your fellowman.
When you care about others you enrich their lives and ultimately your own. Watch this short, powerful video of a CNN Hero who does exactly that.

Do I choose positive thoughts over negative ones?
Why: Whatever you give your focus and energy to, that is what you attract into your life.
You may not always be able to control what happens to you in life. However, you can choose your attitude.

As you assess who to become to get to where you want to be, consider qualities that will strengthen your character, attract opportunities into your life, and positively set you up to manage the successes (and setbacks) that come your way.

A Real Leader Saves Children from a Trash Dump

Not only is Elena Durón Miranda a CNN Hero, she is a leader of character. Durón Miranda learned that many children in Bariloche, a popular city for skiers and tourists in southern Argentina, drop out of school and spend their lives working at a trash dump.

She then launched an organization to provide them with free education and extracurricular programs so they have an alternative to working.