Is Facebook Creating Drama In Your Life?

Whether or not you are a Facebook user you may have heard your friends refer to Facebook as though it is a living thing that controls their lives and emotions.

“Facebook creates drama between people” is one such commented I’ve heard.

Another friend shared the link to an article titled “Facebook is a bummer.” The article cited a study in which (mostly young) people said Facebook made them feel bad about themselves.

When we believe that Facebook creates drama in our lives or makes us feel bad about ourselves, we go into effect; we allow ourselves to feel like a victim.

Facebook is a tool. It does not create drama. We do. We create drama by how we choose to interpret, respond, and react to what's shared on Facebook. The way we choose to respond to any situation is our choice. The situation itself is neutral.

Similarly, Facebook does not make us feel bad about ourselves. We do. By constantly comparing ourselves with other people and what’s going on in their lives, we create the ILLUSION their life is better than ours.

I sometimes hear from people who are suffering, not because of what's happening in their lives, but because they compare themselves with others. Rather than focus on their unique path, they focus on someone else’s.

When we take responsibility for our behaviors we release blame; we experience FREEDOM from feelings of victimization. When we take responsibility we become awake and when we are awake our eyes open to the peace and beauty of our inner world.

Get in touch with your inner world because your inner world reflects your outer world. Unleash your authentic brilliance.

Would you hand over your paycheck to someone who makes you unhappy?

Have you ever felt unhappy because of someone's actions or behaviors toward you? I once felt that way about a former boss. In hindsight, I allowed myself to feel like a victim.

Over time, I discovered that no one holds the key to our happiness; not our parents, not our children, not our boss, not our friends, not our boyfriends. When we blame others for our unhappiness, when we feel unhappy because someone does not validate for us that we are special, we disempower ourselves by placing our happiness in THEIR hands.

Think about it. You wouldn't hand over your paycheck to these people and empower them to spend your money, so why give them power over how you feel?

TAKE BACK YOUR POWER!

Reconnect with Your Authentic Self "I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." These are powerful words from the poem Invictus by William Henley. It has become a mantra I use throughout my life. Use these words to help you reconnect with your authentic self.

Take a walk through nature. Observe the miracle of life and remind yourself that you are part of this miraculous Universe. You are here for a reason. You serve a purpose.

No one's opinion or treatment of you can change that. They cannot dim your light for you are always Divinely supported.

Learn and Move Forward
 Every experience teaches us something. So, learn from your experience and move forward. Many times the lesson is about love. Love of self and others. Send these people love. This may be hard at first. Know that when you put LOVE into the Universe it comes back to you.

Take Responsibility
Assess your situation and take responsibility for how you allow yourself to be treated. "If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life" advises Jack Canfield. I took responsibility for allowing myself to feel disempowered. I released blame and reclaimed my power.

Remind yourself that no one has dominion over your happiness and your life. This profound truth liberates you.

Is Their Life Really Better Than Yours?

On occasion I'll hear someone compare his or her life with someone else's. The comparison usually occurs when the individual sees his or her life as inferior to the other person's.

These individuals allow themselves to become sad or depressed over what they feel is lacking in their own lives.

This "grass is greener" effect seems to have become an epidemic with the evolution of social media, which allows our friends and colleagues to share details of their lives with us. I'm reminded of a movie in which a married woman with children wished for a life other than the one she was living.

Her fantasy soon became reality and one day she woke up married to a wealthy man. Suddenly, she had no kids and spent her days shopping and traveling. Eventually she realized she was in a loveless marriage. Her husband was involved with another woman and wanted a divorce.

Being trapped in another existence helped her appreciate the love and warmth of her family. Make a mental or written note of how many times in a day you compare yourself with others. For each thought you have, remind yourself you are UNIQUE and that no matter how much better someone else's life may seem, your journey is your own.

The more you accept your uniqueness, the more you live in this truth. You experience more JOY knowing that your path, while different, offers the same opportunities for peace and happiness. Allow the gifts and TREASURES within to rise to the surface.

As you share your gifts with others you discover that the better life which seemed to belong to others also belongs to you.

A Commonly Overlooked Place For Solutions To Life Challenges

One evening a radio talk show caught my ear as I coasted down a busy Las Vegas freeway. A caller seeking advice from financial expert Dave Ramsey explained that she was experiencing challenges with her personal finances.

Dave asked questions, listened intently, and gave his expert opinion as the caller explained her mortgage situation.

She added that her husband seemed hopeless and indecisive about their life and financial dilemma; more so since his mother’s passing.

After extracting more information from the woman, Dave eventually responded with “I don’t know what to tell you… your problem is a spiritual one.” Her husband had lost hope for his future and the desire to move forward.

 "Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung

When we experience life challenges, whether it is financial, business or relationship, we tend to look outside ourselves first for solutions rather than starting within.

Because we are all on a spiritual journey, experiences are presented to us so we may learn, evolve, and move forward on our path. As Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck explains:

Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.
This includes every mosquito
 every misfortune,
every red light,
every traffic jam,
every obnoxious supervisor
(or employee),
every illness, every loss,
every moment of joy or depression,
every addiction,
every piece of garbage,
every breath.
Every moment is the guru.

When you experience life challenges, reflect on your situation and consider what you may be learning from that experience. Be grateful for your experiences because “every moment is the guru.”

When you feel uncertain about the situation and the lesson, Ask God/Higher Power/Universe for guidance and clarity. As you may know, a lesson will continue to show up until it is learned.

Understand that you possess the power, courage, and inner strength to move beyond your situation.

However, start by looking within. When you do, you awaken. You evolve. Ultimately, you discover the lesson and the GOOD it brings you.

How has looking within helped you overcome life challenges?

How Well Are You Moving Forward in 2013?

If you hold the vision of a bright future for yourself, you've probably set a series of goals in 2013 designed to make your vision a reality.

As with any goal setting process, you've most likely measured your progress to determine how well you are moving forward.

If you find you are not progressing as quickly as you'd like, one behavior you may consider implementing is the act of letting go. While there are many techniques that allow you to move forward, letting go of emotional baggage is one that's often overlooked.

For example, you may be holding on to past hurts such as being betrayed by a spouse or not feeling loved by a parent or child. Living from this emotional space can slow your personal and emotional growth.

"As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison." ~ Nelson Mandela

Letting go frees you to live in the moment, opens the door to new opportunities, and allows you to move forward.

The act of forgiveness does not mean condoning the wrongdoer's actions, it means freeing yourself from emotional baggage that weighs you down. After all, how well can you fly when you're tethered to baggage?

Begin by forgiving the person you believe hurt you in some way. This may be challenging at first; however, it becomes easier over time.

Several ways you can practice forgiveness and letting go is to journal your thoughts and feelings about the person. You may also hold a 'pretend conversation' with the person. Speak with the individual as if s/he were there. Then pretend s/he is responding to what you're expressing. It also helps to focus on positive aspects of the person rather than just his or her negative behaviors.

Remember, ill feelings consume energy that can otherwise be channeled to a more positive place.

For more on forgiveness and letting go, check out this article by the Chopra Center.

A Powerful Secret For Achieving Your Goals

While there are many techniques for setting and achieving goals, here is a powerful secret for mastering your goals for 2013 and beyond:

 Create a Clear Vision… From the Heart

Achieving your goal starts with a clear vision. That means answering questions such as: what specifically does accomplishing my goal look like? What does achieving my goal really mean for me and/or for others? How will I feel when my goal is accomplished?

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” ~ Carl Jung

The real magic for establishing a clear vision occurs when you look into your heart for the authentic answers. When you do, you awaken to your truth.

Looking Within For Authentic Answers
Looking into your heart is not about telling yourself what you want to hear. Rather, it involves looking beyond the surface and listening for the authentic answers.

For example, if your goal is to earn more money in your business or career, your immediate vision may be one in which you are able to pay your bills and enjoy the finer things in life.

While there is nothing wrong with this vision, when you look within and listen, a different and clearer vision may emerge.

Some ways in which you can look within is through meditation, reflection, journaling, and spending time in nature or the outdoors.

Engaging in these activities temporarily takes you away from your daily routine and environment, and draws you closer to the Universe and center of your heart. The answers may come to you quickly or over time.

Not only do these practices help you discover your answers, they yield moments of peace and contribute to your personal growth.

How To Become An American Idol… There’s Still Time

The hit reality TV series American Idol is currently wrapping auditions for Season 12 and thousands are showcasing their talent for a shot at stardom.

A solid piece of feedback judges offer some contestants is: bring an authentic voice or unique style to the competition.

Without a unique voice or presence, it becomes challenging for contestants to stand out and they may not be valued as marketable stars.

Being a Superstar
Similarly, being an American Idol or superstar in your own life - whether in your business, career or personal life - means bringing your authentic brilliance to the forefront.

Your authentic brilliance is what allows you to achieve new levels of success in your life.

Authentic Brilliance... What Is?
 "How is it possible to achieve new levels of success in my life?" you may ask. It's simple: your authentic brilliance is your divine right and privilege. When you live it, you are living who you are meant to be.

Your authentic brilliance is comprised of the unique gifts, talents, style, and abilities with which you come into this world. It is what differentiates from others allowing you to stand out and be the star you are meant to be.  

It's Written Upon Your Heart
Living your authentic brilliance is about expressing what's written upon your heart. Some Idol contestants receive feedback that they're unsure of WHO they are.

For example, they may flip-flop between genres (like choosing country songs and then rock songs) although rock and roll is what's really written on their hearts.

When Oprah Winfrey switched from a confrontational-style talk show to an empowering and uplifting format, she expressed what was written upon her heart and lived her authentic brilliance.

Choose to live your authentic brilliance without fearing judgment from others. Instead of copying a co-worker's presence or a business owner's brand, express your unique style or message.

There's always time to start living a life true to who you really are, so choose to start today.

Complaining Is Never The Answer; This Is

Recently, I have been mentoring a high-achieving young woman as she works toward becoming a top-performing athlete.

Her accomplishments have earned her sponsorships that make it possible for her to fully devote her time to training -- a golden opportunity many young women only dream of achieving.

Yet, a pattern began to emerge... a pattern of complaining.

She complained about her trainers, her training schedule, the commitment involved, and the way her parents interact with her throughout the process.

Her focus shifted from her talents and the opportunities she had received to what she didn't like about the experience. Similarly, many of us shift our focus from the gifts and opportunities in our lives. We soon take them for granted rather than expressing APPRECIATION.

As you reflect on achieving your goals, consider this: I have never heard anyone say, "I complained my way to success."

"The act of complaining, which some of us call 'venting' rarely makes us feel good; it just contributes to more complaining and more negativity," explains author Mike Robbins.

Instead of complaining, choose the path of GRATITUDE, and take these powerful words with you:

"There are two words that when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words which, when they pass your lips will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will wipe out negativity. Two words that will bring you abundance in all things. Two words which, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces and vibrations in the Universe to move all things for you. The only thing standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams is two words... THANK YOU!" -from The Secret Daily Teachings by Rhonda Byrne

With gratitude,

Christine Ferguson

If You Want To Go Far, Follow This Success Principle

In a recent conversation with my brother-in-law, he commented on the financial success of a close friend, "I don't know how he accomplishes all those things by himself."

Accomplishing "all those things by himself" is an illusion. Although it may appear that those who achieve success do so alone, they rarely (if ever) do.

If someone tells you s/he single-handedly achieved successes, then perhaps they have not taken a hard look around and acknowledged everyone who contributed to their accomplishments. This may include acknowledging a mother's wisdom, an empowering book, or an expert's advice.

Involve Others In Your Journey
By believing that those who achieve success do so alone, you may be inclined to fly solo. Instead, involve others in your journey. When you do, you fly higher and go farther.

In the book, Goals, author Gary Ryan Blair explains, "No goal is achieved in a vacuum. We all need the guidance and support that comes only from involving others."

4 Meaningful Ways To Involve Others

1. Partner with a coach. Coaches are a superior resource for keeping you accountable, helping you clarify goals, and moving you into action.
2. Choose a mentor. Benefit from the wisdom and experience of someone who has 'been there and done that.' Meet with your mentor at scheduled times and learn from his or her successes and mistakes.
3. Attend seminars. Not only do these events offer the knowledge and experience of experts, they are opportunities to gain new contacts, meet like-minded individuals, and share ideas.
4. Ask a "non-expert." While the idea of involving others is to gain from their expertise, do not discount the knowledge others may have to offer. For example, a CEO may gain valuable insights from team members that allow him or her to reframe a problem and find solutions.

The life-changing benefit of involving others can also be found in the African proverb: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others."

Are You Living Through the Rearview Mirror or the Windshield?

In 1987 Cher popularized the phrase, "Snap out of it!" through her Oscar-winning performance in Moonstruck. [Watch video clip]. Since then the phrase has been used to jolt others out of some deluded thought or belief.

This includes jolting people out of their B.S. (belief system) that their best life lies in the past and the future represents a cesspool of hopelessness. People who buy into this belief live in the rearview mirror of life rather than the windshield of hope, optimism, and opportunity.

"Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone." ~ Jerome K. Jerome

Reasons You Live in the Past One reason some people live in the past is they believe once they reach a certain age their life effectively ends. Therefore they see no point in acting on goals such as returning to school or embarking on a second career. Another reason people live in the rearview mirror is that this is where they once achieved success. They feel stuck and believe the wheels of success will never again turn in their favor. The opposite is also true. That is, constant focus on past failures creates fear and an unwillingness to choose optimistic outlooks.

Snap Out of It! (or How to Start Living Through the Windshield) While we learn from past experiences and they help us become who we are, rearview-mirror behaviors can be paralyzing. Below are a few tips for a forward looking approach and opening yourself up to life's possibilities and opportunities:  

Set the Intention. Make a commitment (preferably in writing) to choose hopeful and optimistic outlooks for your life. Most successful people put their goals and intentions in writing. Write an intention such as, "Each day I choose positive and optimistic outlooks for my life."

Reframe Your Thoughts. Whenever you generate a thought like "my life is over," replace it with a positive belief such as "my best days are ahead of me." Repeating this process helps you form positive thoughts and shifts your beliefs.

Learn from Others. McDonald's founder Ray Kroc is noted for saying, "When I started the company, I was 52 years old. I had diabetes, lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland. But I was convinced that the best was ahead of me." Kroc chose the windshield approach. Seek opportunities to learn from people like Kroc who have been in your shoes and who overcame their situation.

Take Action. Take one small step toward creating the life you really want (and deserve!). If your goal involves furthering your education, meet with an academic advisor to discuss returning to school. Taking action is liberating and helps removes perceived barriers to growth.

Choosing to move forward may seem scary and you may feel like retreating when you see roadblocks. Understand that one of the best gifts you can give yourself is to live in the optimism that is already yours. Claim it! You do not need permission, so start living through the windshield of hope and optimism today.

The Trouble With Asking “What Am I Doing Wrong?”

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." ~ Marianne Williamson.

As you seek opportunities and solutions for moving toward your goals, at times you may feel you're not getting the results you want. Soon you embark on a self-induced cycle of asking, "What am I doing wrong?"

Although it is important to evaluate where you and where you are going, as well as what's working and what's not working, constantly asking yourself "What am I doing wrong?" is not the best approach.

Many studies show that focusing on problems tends to create fatigue and resistance, whereas looking for opportunities to build on strengths inspires and motivates you.

Why You Get What You Focus On
There's an area of the brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS, pronounced "raz"). Its most important function is considered to be its control of consciousness; this includes its ability to filter out non-essential information and consciously focus attention on something.

For example, you buy a car and you soon notice other cars of the same make, model, and color. Or your TV is quietly playing in the background when suddenly you hear a certain word and automatically you begin listening to what's being said.

That is because your brain focuses on where you put your energy and it creates its reality around that. In other words, you get what you focus on.

So when you put all your energy on the negative, that is what your brain processes. When you focus your thoughts on what's not working in your life, you create more of that reality.

Instead, ask yourself what reality you want to create and spend time focusing on that. In essence, focus on what you want, rather than what you do not want.

This doesn't mean ignoring challenges or areas for improvement. It does mean that always focusing on what's wrong does not produce the results you want.

Shift Your Focus
Two simple ways to shift your focus from what's not working (and change your results) are:

1. Focus on your strengths and how they can help you overcome challenges and create the reality you want.
2. Celebrate small milestones as a reminder of your progress and what's working.

Never doubt the power within to create your reality and always remember you deserve peace, love, and success.

Why Changing Your Environment Can Change Your Life

"Be selective about your external influences. Your multi-dimensional brain is influenced by everything you see, hear, read, smell, touch, feel or say." ~ Brian Tracy

What's one of the best ways to change the results in your life? Change your environment!

Your environment includes people you associate with, books you read, places you visit, television shows you watch, and other elements that influence your thoughts, beliefs, values, and attitudes.

Surrounding yourself with positive people and other positive influences helps you develop a positive mindset and leads to positive outcomes.

The legendary Jim Rohn taught that over time you will have the combined attitude, health, and income of the FIVE people you hang around the most.

Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, explains Rohn, find those who represent the success you want and spend more time with them. Join organizations, clubs, businesses and health clubs where these people are and make friends.

Decide if there are people you will spend less time with and whether there are new people you will bring into your environment to support your goals and dreams.

Also consider how elements such as books you read, places you visit, and music you listen to influence your thoughts and attitude about yourself and others. How well do they support your attitude? Do they instill positive values? Do they empower you?

As you assess your environment and replace negative elements with positive ones, you change your results and your life.

To Set Yourself Up For Success Ask This Important Question

As you set out to achieve your goals and dreams, you may be asking what you need to do in order to bring them to fruition.

Another important question to ask is, "Who do I need to become to get from where I am to where I want to be?" Who you are is not a matter of what you do for a living. Rather, it is a matter of who you are on the inside.

Here are a few questions to consider (and why to consider them) as you assess who to become:

Am I grateful for what I already have?
Why: Be grateful for what you already have before expecting more.
This also means being grateful for your challenges because they serve a purpose in your life. "If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will begin to see more." ~ Oprah Winfrey

Do I operate from my ego or from humility?
Why: The ego is the source of many of our problems.
As Eckhart Tolle states in his blockbuster book, A New Earth, "Many people don't realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are."

Do I genuinely care about others?
Why: Life is largely about caring for your fellowman.
When you care about others you enrich their lives and ultimately your own. Watch this short, powerful video of a CNN Hero who does exactly that.

Do I choose positive thoughts over negative ones?
Why: Whatever you give your focus and energy to, that is what you attract into your life.
You may not always be able to control what happens to you in life. However, you can choose your attitude.

As you assess who to become to get to where you want to be, consider qualities that will strengthen your character, attract opportunities into your life, and positively set you up to manage the successes (and setbacks) that come your way.

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period – Part 3: Be Outrageous

“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.” ~ Thea Alexander

Get ready to be outrageous! In What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period, 3 characteristics from the Romantic Period are revealed as well as how you can apply each characteristic to achieve positive change and fulfillment in your life.

Here is a quick recap of Parts 1 and 2:
The Romantic Period was an artistic and philosophical movement (around the late 1700s to mid-1900s) when artists moved away from the strict laws of balance and restraint of previous periods.
Part 1 explored Self-Expression
Part 2 examined Emotion versus Intellect

Part 3: Be Outrageous
Here, we explore a third characteristic of the Romantic Period: a love of the fantastic and exotic. Romantic artists might display this by using fantasy, dreams, exotic lands and cultures, or exotic, idealized historical periods.

You can apply the fantastic and exotic to your life by being outrageous in your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors.

Dream Big
Some of the greatest achievements in history started with what many considered outrageous dreams and ideas: the Wright brothers and their first powered and piloted plane, Walt Disney and his Mickey Mouse concept, Ted Turner and his 24-hour news station, CNN.

Dare to be an outrageous dreamer. Think BIG. When you do, you open up yourself to unimaginable possibilities.

Think Different
Romantics with a love of the fantastic and exotic probed more deeply into their creative imagination. Get outrageous by probing into your creative imagination! Challenge routine thought patterns by seeing things differently and asking creative questions.

Einstein, who was famous for questioning the ways things worked, said “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand.” See how far your creative imagination will take you.

Change Your Attitude
Another way to be outrageous is in your attitude. When you are faced with a challenging situation, practice having a different attitude; this shifts your energy, allows you to see things in a new way, and leads to positive outcomes.

People who lost their jobs as a result of the economy (including me), saw it as an opportunity to start a new business, develop a new skill, or get an education.

Think of it this way: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Watch 3-Minute Video

Being outrageous may mean getting out of your comfort zone. As you may have heard me say, when you are out of your comfort zone you are learning and growing.

In what ways are you outrageous?

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 2)

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." ~Dale Carnegie

The fascinating period in history known as the Romantic Period is the basis for this three-part blog which examines three “Romantic” principles you can apply to your life to achieve positive change and fulfillment.

Last week, part one gave an overview of the Romantic Period and covered the first principle, Express Yourself. You may catch it here.

And now for principle two…

2. Remember the Importance of Emotions
Romantics such as Beethoven and Schubert placed emphasis on emotion rather than intellect. They explored their minds and FEELINGS and they used art and literature to express their emotions.

While intellect plays an important part in our lives, emotion is also important to us and our relationships. Yet, sometimes we choose to hide our emotions because in many instances, it is what we have been conditioned to do.

When I was 12 years old, my father passed away unexpectedly. Perhaps through being conditioned by society, I thought I was being strong by not CRYING at his funeral.

We are afraid to cry and we view people who cry as weak. We are afraid to hug others because it is too “touchy-feely,” and we sometimes refrain from using the word “love.”

I once worked in an organization where the culture allowed us to express our emotions. We greeted each other with hugs instead of handshakes, the CEO told us he loved us, and it was not unusual for people to express themselves through TEARS. We were encouraged to live our lives with passion and enthusiasm!

This type of work environment allowed us to create strong bonds and made us feel like part of a family. It did not prevent us from maintaining a professional work environment or professional relationships.

Choosing to express your emotion can be as simple as telling your child you love him/her, expressing your genuine appreciation to a co-worker, letting a parent know how grateful you are for his/her love and support, or expressing your passion and enthusiasm for something.

You may also choose to perform a kind deed for someone; sometimes action speaks louder than words.

Expressing your emotion does not mean you have to hug every person on the street; although, this approach may help make the world a better place and has worked well for others. Watch video

In what ways will you choose to express your emotion?

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 1)

"There will always be thousands of princes, but there is only one Beethoven." ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Imagine a time when society breaks free from traditional beliefs, places emphasis on emotion rather than intellect, and embarks on an exploration of the “L” word…love.

Such was the case during the Romantic Period (or Romantic Era) in history.

The Romantic Period has little to do with romantic love. This period in history was a time of great CHANGE and emancipation.

What is the Romantic Period?
The Romantic Period was an artistic and philosophical movement (around the late 1700s to mid-1900s) when artists moved away from the strict laws of balance and restraint of previous periods.

Many Romantics of the early 1800s reacted against what they felt was the excessive focus on the rational part of the human psyche by enlightenment thinkers, the rigid rules of Neoclassical art, and political elitism.

Artists, such as Beethoven, emerged and began to express artistic freedom, experimentation, and creativity in their work.
Learn more about the Romantic Period

So how can you apply some of the principles of the Romantic Period to achieve positive change and fulfillment in your life? This three-part blog will examine a few ways.

3 Romantic Principles To Apply To Your Life
The Romantic Movement embraced six principal characteristics. Here we will examine three of the six principles and how you can apply them to your life.
Also see: Challenge Rules If They Don’t Make Sense

1. As the 1970s song goes, “Express Yourself”
During the Romantic Period, the expression of individual feelings through artistic work ruled the day. Painters, writers, and musicians—many of whom are famously known by a single name (Beethoven, Schubert, Goethe)—rebelled against traditional beliefs, styles, or institutions. Their personal feelings and expressions were reflected in their work.

When applying this principle to your life, think in terms of expressing your individuality.

Oftentimes you may conform to rigid rules and standards that do not allow you to express who you really are.

Your true self may be suppressed because you are influenced by the media, meaningless values placed upon you by society, peer pressure, and other factors.

BREAK FREE from traditional beliefs and seek viable avenues for self-expression. Commit to taking on a new project at work that allows you to contribute your style and individuality, join a group where your talents and ideas are welcome, write a blog, speak your truth, or act on your own innovative idea.

What are some ways in which you express your individuality?

Next Week: “Romantic Period” (Part 2) focuses on Emotion versus Intellect. See you then!

What Obstacles Can Do For You

"I would say to anybody who feels they’re bogged down by their obstacles, just really think of who you are without those, and imagine yourself doing what you love to do ‘cause that’ll drive you to do things you never thought you were capable of." ~ Zach Anner

The winner of Your OWN Show on Oprah Winfrey’s new network is Zach Anner. Anner, who has cerebral palsy, is an inspiration to anyone who sees obstacles as a barrier to success.

When he advises, "think of who you are without [obstacles]," it's his way of saying obstacles strengthen you and help you become who you are.

Anner will host a travel show on OWN with a concept he describes as “taking life as it comes and whatever you run into you learn to roll with it.”



"Anner says he hopes to be an inspiration to others and says he’s not there yet," reports CNN Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta.

I believe he’s already there. What do you think?

Also see: Your Mind and Body are Faithful Servants

So You Want to Put One Foot in Front of the Other?

"Things that seem hard are not always that hard. Put one foot in front of the other, and you’ll get to the end." ~ Author Unknown

After years of being physically active, my fitness routine was slowly becoming non-existent. Consequently, I committed to walking every morning for 30-45 minutes during the month of April until physical activity was again a habit.

The Challenge of Putting One Foot in Front of the Other
One morning I stepped outside and began questioning my decision to go walking. The sky was distinctly ominous and wind gusts were so strong I struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Nonetheless, I pushed forward determined to honor my commitment.

Better Days May be Around the Corner
Within minutes I rounded a corner and the wind tapered off thereby making my walk more manageable. Tumbleweeds blew through the streets, flowers were flattened by the wind, and there wasn’t another hiker or jogger around.

Although I considered walking for twenty minutes instead of forty-five, I pressed on despite powerful gusts which occasionally pushed me along and blasted my face with cool air.

Also see: Persistence: The Stuff of Legends and Heroes

It IS Possible to Complete the Journey
Twenty minutes later, I formed the analogy between my determination to keep walking and those who push forward to achieve a goal or dream.

The real “ah-ha!” came when I realized I nearly canceled my walk until I turned the corner and saw the possibility of keeping my commitment.

Similarly, when you embark on a goal or dream, following through may seem difficult at first. However, when you stay focused and committed, the winds will change in your favor.

Along the way, the winds may shift and temporarily upset your balance. Yet, by continually putting one foot in front of the other, you will complete the journey.

That morning, I put one foot in front of the other and completed a forty-five minute journey.
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3 Ways We Sabotage Ourselves

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

There usually isn’t a straight path to achieving a goal or dream. There may be unexpected U-turns or bumps in the road. What about when we are the ones who unknowingly create such barriers? We make excuses, see obstacles, or give in to fear. That is what’s known as self-sabotage. There are many ways we sabotage ourselves. Here are three ways in which we do:

Copying Someone Else
When I was younger I loved to sing! (I still do.) I practiced hitting the same high notes as Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, but couldn’t quite get there. As I grew older I realized that being a singer was not my life’s purpose. As my life and career evolved, I learned that by not being yourself you unwittingly mask your own gifts and uniqueness. Knowing this, had I decided to become a singer I would have sung in my own style. I would not be Whitney Houston. I would not be Mariah Carey. I would be Christine Ferguson. As you set out to be whatever it is you decide to be, remember there is only one you. Be your unique and brilliant self!

Also see: Own Your Greatness

Believing You Are Not as Smart as Others
After opening my résumé writing service in the mid-1990s, I felt there were writers in the industry who were more talented. I learned from others as I grew my business, joined a professional association, and became a Certified Résumé Writer. One day a friend asked: why not publish your own résumé writing book? I replied that I had not reached that level in my career. Certainly there were more experienced writers, but by BELIEVING I wasn’t smart enough, I robbed myself of the confidence to write a book based on my level of expertise. Sometimes what is needed is more confidence, not more “smarts.” Whatever you feel you may be lacking, you can always turn to others for help. Most writers, for example, never publish a book by themselves.

Buying into Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is one of the most common ways in which we sabotage ourselves. Some of the things we tell ourselves are simply atrocious: I’m unworthy of love or success. I’m a failure. I do not deserve to live. Thoughts are real. When you feed yourself these negative thoughts, your subconscious mind believes them and these thoughts manifest themselves in your behaviors. In the book, The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I address the issue of negative self-talk. One way is to practice replacing negative thought with positive ones. Eventually, you will become better at turning down the negative self-talk. You can also begin to shift your thoughts by focusing on your gifts and the positive aspects of your life.

For more tips and success strategies, click here to download the free article 8 Ways to Think Like a Winner.

How have you sabotaged yourself and how did you resolve it?
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Persistence: The Stuff of Legends and Heroes

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” -Calvin Coolidge

At the start of their careers, Michael Jordan, Lucille Ball, and Walt Disney were told they did not have what it takes to succeed. Despite being discouraged, they persisted and became legends in their own right.

Persistence, not luck, contributed to their success. A lack of persistence is among the top reasons many do not achieve their dreams. They have no belief in themselves, no insatiable appetite for achieving their dream, and they constantly make excuses for not taking action. Therefore, they do not persist.

When you have been discouraged, as Jordan, Ball and Disney once were, it may be easy to buy into others’ negative opinions and give up. One way to overcome those feelings of defeat is to have a passionate belief in yourself. Allowing others’ opinion to define you can be paralyzing. Instead, allow your belief in yourself to drive out the negative opinion of others. Then, press on!

Also see: Believe in Yourself: The Little Engine That Knows it Will

It is also important to be persistent when you make a mistake or feel you have failed in some way. Those can be some of the hardest times. Yet, they can be some of your best opportunities to learn and grow. How you respond to those moments can determine your next steps and your outcomes.

In the best-selling book Rich Dad Poor Dad, author Robert Kiyosaki explains it this way, “Failure inspires winners. The greatest secret of winners is that failure inspires winning; thus, they’re not afraid of losing.”

Share some of your techniques for being persistent.
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