Diplomacy Always Trumps Rudeness

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." -Unknown

After wrapping up my call with a bank representative she concluded with, "Thank you for being so nice." Her comment suggested she had encountered her share of impolite customers. You, too, may have experienced rudeness from clients, customer service representatives, co-workers, or even bosses.

Those who choose to be rude do so for any number of reasons including ranting and raving about a problem believing someone will be forced to resolve their issue.

If I Yell Loud Enough Someone Will Fix My Problem
Sometimes this approach may work, but at what cost? You may defame yourself or cause a company or an individual to avoid communication with you. In 2007, Sprint-Nextel terminated several customer relationships because they believed these customers had become too high maintenance. The company felt it had done everything it could to resolve calls from customers who were constantly disputing their bills. This does not mean the carrier’s response was justified. Yet, it shows being a squeaky wheel can generate the opposite response. Additionally, one can be a squeaky wheel without being rude.

Taking the High Road
When you are rude, one of the messages you send is that you do not respect that individual. Always be respectful of others. Wouldn’t you expect the same for yourself? You cannot expect to receive that which you are not willing to give. If rudeness gets the best of you, then apologize for your behavior. Imagine what that will do to resolve conflicts and improve relationships.

What are You Hiding?
Being rude may also suggest you have something to hide. During an Enron conference call a financial analyst stated, “You're the only financial institution that can't produce a balance sheet or cash flow statement with their earnings.” CEO Jeffrey Skilling reacted with this infamous remark, "Well, uh ... Thank you very much. We appreciate it ... a**hole!" Skilling’s rude reaction stemmed from the fact he had something to hide—Enron’s nonexistent earnings.

Diplomacy Trumps Rudeness
When you are diplomatic instead of rude, others will respond more favorably to you. After arriving at the airport a friend discovered her return flight had been delayed. Rather than make demands and get upset, she chose to adopt an attitude of "It is what it is." Do you know what happened next? In her words, "The ticket agent took the initiative, booked me on another flight that I didn't request, walked over to me and handed me new plane tickets!"

That’s diplomacy in action! When you trade rudeness for diplomacy you will create more positive relationships, position yourself as someone of character, and earn the respect of others.

What are some situations in which you have chosen diplomacy over rudeness?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Life is Not about Fearing Wrinkles

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.”

Every day we are bombarded with ads for products that promise to make us look younger. I get it. We all want to look younger and feel good about ourselves. Occasionally I, too, dab night cream around my eyes to stave off the emergence of wrinkles.

Imagine, then, how refreshing it is to hear someone say, "I look forward to growing old" or "I’m evaluating what really matters, like earning the privilege of wrinkles." The latter comment was made by a friend who recently had a medical scare—one of many as she continues to battle a blood disorder.

Sometimes the onslaught of perfect-body-images portrayed in the media tends to make us forget what really matters. Life is not about fearing wrinkles or the aging process. It is about the experiences that shape our lives, define our characters, and create our legacies.

Taking care of our bodies and staying healthy is important. Yet, our bodies are not who we are. They are the place where we become who we are. By fearing the aging process we lose sight of the importance of our journey through life and the many meaningful experiences along the way.

As someone once said, "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – 'Wow! What a Ride!' "*

How are you making your life’s journey meaningful and memorable?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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*This quote has been attributed to several different sources.

Get off the Ledge of Despair, Please

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
-Wayne Dyer

While walking in the neighborhood one Sunday afternoon, I overheard a backyard conversation taking place by phone. “Look at the bright side,” the man said to whoever was on the other end of the line. Clearly this man was doing his best to shed optimism on someone’s situation.

When you are faced with a tough situation it may be easy to slip into despair. It may be equally difficult to “look at the bright side.” For some, being in a state of despair is short-lived because they rely on their inner strength and/or the help of others to come through a difficult time.

For others, getting past despair is perceived as nearly impossible. They live their lives by false truths believing they are destined for a life of misery and hopelessness. They climb onto the ledge of despair and any attempt to talk them down is met with verbal assault and negativity.

If you or someone you know behaves this way, it is important to understand that the more you think there is no hope for you, the more negative thoughts and outcomes you will attract into your life. (Also see Be Careful What You DON’T Wish For). Success is due in great part to the way you think. Begin to see things in a different way and believe there is as much opportunity for you as there is for anyone else.

Instead of obstacles, see opportunities; see how something may work for you instead of how it will not work. Take the time to investigate solutions before shooting them down. This approach allows you to make informed decisions rather than decisions based on speculation.

When those who care about you share positive thoughts, words of encouragement, and suggestions for moving your life forward, thank them and get off the ledge of despair. In life you have choices: you can choose to believe yours is a life of misery and hopelessness or you can change the way you think and seize the opportunities life has to offer. Choose the latter, please.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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Calling Real Leaders!

In case you missed it, last week The Real Leadership Series debuted. The Real Leadership Series is a monthly blog that highlights an individual who embodies leadership excellence and demonstrates strong character.

With today's shortage of character-based leaders there isn't a better time to raise awareness of the urgent need for real leaders.

Click here to read the first-ever RLS blog which features Alan Page, former NFL player turned Supreme Court Justice.

To nominate someone for the Real Leadership Series, email your nominations to service@EndLeadershipHunger.com. Explain what qualities (integrity, humility, respect, personal responsibility, etc.) your nominee embodies.

Christine

Your Mind and Body are Faithful Servants

The image on my television screen was of a man who was waist deep in an ice-cold river. His bare upper body exposed to the elements while he carefully carried his clothes on his shoulder to keep them dry as he crossed the river.

I was watching a reenactment of a man who had survived a deadly avalanche and, with a shattered pelvis; he was now lost and alone in the wintry, inhospitable mountains of Transylvania. The television program was I Shouldn’t Be Alive.

If you’ve read the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, then you’ve heard me talk about this television program and the incredible stories of human survival it portrays. The man is Ken Jones a former soldier. After a few days of crawling and hobbling through the vast, snowy wilderness, Jones finds help and is rescued. Two-and-a-half years after the accident, he was finally able to walk again. “The body will do what it has to do to survive. It is just an incredibly reliant and efficient machine,” says Jones.

As the body is an incredibly reliant and efficient machine so, too, is the mind. Even when you don’t believe you can make it through a tough situation, somewhere deep inside of you, there is a warrior. It may not be until you are faced with an extremely challenging time or an ordeal that you realize the strength and power of your character and how exceptionally well your mind and body serve you.

Jones brilliantly and beautifully explains it this way:

“I realized what an honest faithful, servant your body is. I felt really proud of myself. I knew I had a strong heart and character and I could get through things. So few people get the opportunity to learn about themselves so intimately and I feel privileged to have faced such struggles to get where I am now.”

Stories of survival and the human spirit inspire you with their truth about your highest capabilities and about what is possible. They are proof your mind and body will humbly and faithfully serve you through all your experiences. Always remember your priceless gifts of mind and body and use them wisely.

How will you unwrap and use your gifts?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine Ferguson


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Are You Like Blockbuster or Are You Like Netflix?

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“Anyone can make millions; all you gotta do is think.” –Ted Turner

A recent CNBC article reported “Blockbuster failed to update its brick-and-mortar model to compete in the fast-paced digital age, and it's been trounced by Netflix.” As a result, Blockbuster filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

The question: Are you like Netflix or are you like Blockbuster? Are you changing with the times and thriving or are you watching things around you change and reacting to your environment? There is no question we live in changing times, and while some are waiting for the economy to recover so they can go back to life as they knew it, others are being adaptable, flexible, and creative.

Here are some ways you, too, can change with the times, so you’re not left wondering “what just happened?”

Get Into Prosperity Mode: While having lunch with a friend I explained the tremendous potential within each of us for greatness. Her response, “People are too busy focusing on surviving.” If you are among those who are focused on just surviving, then like Blockbuster that is exactly what you will find yourself doing. To put things into perspective, Blockbuster had a staggering $900 million debt load. Instead, close off all thoughts such as, “I’m just getting by” and begin shifting your mind into prosperity mode. Do not become a victim of your circumstances.

Be joyful for the things in your life (family, health, friends, food…) and accept that there are limitless opportunities for you in the world. A woman recently posted on Twitter, “I reject the recession. I am my own lottery ticket.” That’s prosperity thinking! You become what you think about, so think thoughts of prosperity.

Make Your Own Rules for Success: Who says you have to play by the rules? Get into a paradoxical spirit of rule breaking with the intent of yielding results for your future. Netflix’s culture, for example, is contrary to that of many corporations. Their forward-thinking strategy for hiring, retaining, and compensating talent is vastly contrary to that of most organizations. The company threw out the old ways of doing business, which helped prepare them for a new economy. What rules will you begin breaking to start creating results in your life?

Be Proactive, Reject Reactive: Ask yourself, what kinds of skills do I have that would be of value? What kinds of people do I know? What new connections will I make? What knowledge do I possess? Asking these types of questions, keeping an inventory of your talents and resources, and taking action on some of these items (e.g., learning a new skill or making new connections) will prepare you to better adapt to changes in your life and finances.

Release the Innovator Within: One of my favorite TV shows is The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch. While the show is no longer on the air, it was a testament to the innovator within all of us. The show featured everyday people who became millionaires when they realized, as Deutsch said, “There has to be a better way!” These people invented simple products to organize their lives, care for their children, haul away junk, or eat healthier foods. Their inventions were born out of necessity.

One of Netflix’s values is innovation. Among other things, they "create new ideas that prove useful.” Look around and think of products you or others could use to simplify or enrich your lives. Or consider services that would be especially useful in today’s economy. Even the simplest ideas can lead to something great.

Become an Information Vacuum. Observe trends or gather knowledge and information by surrounding yourself with resources or people you can learn from. You may be able to glean information that you can transform into new opportunities. Media mogul turned philanthropist, Ted Turner, said his fortune grew from reading the papers and gathering information which he would then piece together to realize there was a need for a product or service. This constantly kept him ahead of the competition. “Anyone can make millions; all you gotta do is think,” says Turner. The saying, “knowledge is power if you use it” holds true. So, act on the useful information you gather.

These are just a few things you can do to change with the times. Add your thoughts and ideas below and let’s share our brilliance to support and empower each other.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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You're Such a Goody-Two-Shoes

Have you ever been called “goody-two-shoes”? I have. There were times I was told I was too honest because, for example, I corrected a cashier’s error or I refused to tell untruths on someone else’s behalf.

I used to be offended by the term goody-two-shoes because my mind conjured up images of a schoolmarm who had zero sense of fun or risk-taking. Who wanted to be perceived in that manner? Not me!

Over time as I immersed myself in books and courses on personal development and leadership, the term “integrity” began to take on great significance. I saw the devastating effects a lack of integrity had on businesses, the economy, and communities (think Bernie Madoff, the Great Recession, and Fortune 500 companies that have fallen from grace). Certainly other factors such as greed played a role in these situations; yet, a lack of integrity ranks high on the list.

In 2009, when Fortune magazine reported schools were adding courses on integrity to MBA programs, I knew these schools saw the same lack-of-integrity effects I did.

Nowadays, when someone describes me as goody-two-shoes I realize what they are really saying is, I am a woman of integrity. If the term goody-two-shoes does not appeal to you, the next time someone describes you as such consider it a high compliment and keep moving forward.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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