Is Facebook Creating Drama In Your Life?

Whether or not you are a Facebook user you may have heard your friends refer to Facebook as though it is a living thing that controls their lives and emotions.

“Facebook creates drama between people” is one such commented I’ve heard.

Another friend shared the link to an article titled “Facebook is a bummer.” The article cited a study in which (mostly young) people said Facebook made them feel bad about themselves.

When we believe that Facebook creates drama in our lives or makes us feel bad about ourselves, we go into effect; we allow ourselves to feel like a victim.

Facebook is a tool. It does not create drama. We do. We create drama by how we choose to interpret, respond, and react to what's shared on Facebook. The way we choose to respond to any situation is our choice. The situation itself is neutral.

Similarly, Facebook does not make us feel bad about ourselves. We do. By constantly comparing ourselves with other people and what’s going on in their lives, we create the ILLUSION their life is better than ours.

I sometimes hear from people who are suffering, not because of what's happening in their lives, but because they compare themselves with others. Rather than focus on their unique path, they focus on someone else’s.

When we take responsibility for our behaviors we release blame; we experience FREEDOM from feelings of victimization. When we take responsibility we become awake and when we are awake our eyes open to the peace and beauty of our inner world.

Get in touch with your inner world because your inner world reflects your outer world. Unleash your authentic brilliance.

Is Their Life Really Better Than Yours?

On occasion I'll hear someone compare his or her life with someone else's. The comparison usually occurs when the individual sees his or her life as inferior to the other person's.

These individuals allow themselves to become sad or depressed over what they feel is lacking in their own lives.

This "grass is greener" effect seems to have become an epidemic with the evolution of social media, which allows our friends and colleagues to share details of their lives with us. I'm reminded of a movie in which a married woman with children wished for a life other than the one she was living.

Her fantasy soon became reality and one day she woke up married to a wealthy man. Suddenly, she had no kids and spent her days shopping and traveling. Eventually she realized she was in a loveless marriage. Her husband was involved with another woman and wanted a divorce.

Being trapped in another existence helped her appreciate the love and warmth of her family. Make a mental or written note of how many times in a day you compare yourself with others. For each thought you have, remind yourself you are UNIQUE and that no matter how much better someone else's life may seem, your journey is your own.

The more you accept your uniqueness, the more you live in this truth. You experience more JOY knowing that your path, while different, offers the same opportunities for peace and happiness. Allow the gifts and TREASURES within to rise to the surface.

As you share your gifts with others you discover that the better life which seemed to belong to others also belongs to you.

A Commonly Overlooked Place For Solutions To Life Challenges

One evening a radio talk show caught my ear as I coasted down a busy Las Vegas freeway. A caller seeking advice from financial expert Dave Ramsey explained that she was experiencing challenges with her personal finances.

Dave asked questions, listened intently, and gave his expert opinion as the caller explained her mortgage situation.

She added that her husband seemed hopeless and indecisive about their life and financial dilemma; more so since his mother’s passing.

After extracting more information from the woman, Dave eventually responded with “I don’t know what to tell you… your problem is a spiritual one.” Her husband had lost hope for his future and the desire to move forward.

 "Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung

When we experience life challenges, whether it is financial, business or relationship, we tend to look outside ourselves first for solutions rather than starting within.

Because we are all on a spiritual journey, experiences are presented to us so we may learn, evolve, and move forward on our path. As Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck explains:

Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.
This includes every mosquito
 every misfortune,
every red light,
every traffic jam,
every obnoxious supervisor
(or employee),
every illness, every loss,
every moment of joy or depression,
every addiction,
every piece of garbage,
every breath.
Every moment is the guru.

When you experience life challenges, reflect on your situation and consider what you may be learning from that experience. Be grateful for your experiences because “every moment is the guru.”

When you feel uncertain about the situation and the lesson, Ask God/Higher Power/Universe for guidance and clarity. As you may know, a lesson will continue to show up until it is learned.

Understand that you possess the power, courage, and inner strength to move beyond your situation.

However, start by looking within. When you do, you awaken. You evolve. Ultimately, you discover the lesson and the GOOD it brings you.

How has looking within helped you overcome life challenges?

How Well Are You Moving Forward in 2013?

If you hold the vision of a bright future for yourself, you've probably set a series of goals in 2013 designed to make your vision a reality.

As with any goal setting process, you've most likely measured your progress to determine how well you are moving forward.

If you find you are not progressing as quickly as you'd like, one behavior you may consider implementing is the act of letting go. While there are many techniques that allow you to move forward, letting go of emotional baggage is one that's often overlooked.

For example, you may be holding on to past hurts such as being betrayed by a spouse or not feeling loved by a parent or child. Living from this emotional space can slow your personal and emotional growth.

"As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison." ~ Nelson Mandela

Letting go frees you to live in the moment, opens the door to new opportunities, and allows you to move forward.

The act of forgiveness does not mean condoning the wrongdoer's actions, it means freeing yourself from emotional baggage that weighs you down. After all, how well can you fly when you're tethered to baggage?

Begin by forgiving the person you believe hurt you in some way. This may be challenging at first; however, it becomes easier over time.

Several ways you can practice forgiveness and letting go is to journal your thoughts and feelings about the person. You may also hold a 'pretend conversation' with the person. Speak with the individual as if s/he were there. Then pretend s/he is responding to what you're expressing. It also helps to focus on positive aspects of the person rather than just his or her negative behaviors.

Remember, ill feelings consume energy that can otherwise be channeled to a more positive place.

For more on forgiveness and letting go, check out this article by the Chopra Center.

A Powerful Secret For Achieving Your Goals

While there are many techniques for setting and achieving goals, here is a powerful secret for mastering your goals for 2013 and beyond:

 Create a Clear Vision… From the Heart

Achieving your goal starts with a clear vision. That means answering questions such as: what specifically does accomplishing my goal look like? What does achieving my goal really mean for me and/or for others? How will I feel when my goal is accomplished?

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” ~ Carl Jung

The real magic for establishing a clear vision occurs when you look into your heart for the authentic answers. When you do, you awaken to your truth.

Looking Within For Authentic Answers
Looking into your heart is not about telling yourself what you want to hear. Rather, it involves looking beyond the surface and listening for the authentic answers.

For example, if your goal is to earn more money in your business or career, your immediate vision may be one in which you are able to pay your bills and enjoy the finer things in life.

While there is nothing wrong with this vision, when you look within and listen, a different and clearer vision may emerge.

Some ways in which you can look within is through meditation, reflection, journaling, and spending time in nature or the outdoors.

Engaging in these activities temporarily takes you away from your daily routine and environment, and draws you closer to the Universe and center of your heart. The answers may come to you quickly or over time.

Not only do these practices help you discover your answers, they yield moments of peace and contribute to your personal growth.

How To Become An American Idol… There’s Still Time

The hit reality TV series American Idol is currently wrapping auditions for Season 12 and thousands are showcasing their talent for a shot at stardom.

A solid piece of feedback judges offer some contestants is: bring an authentic voice or unique style to the competition.

Without a unique voice or presence, it becomes challenging for contestants to stand out and they may not be valued as marketable stars.

Being a Superstar
Similarly, being an American Idol or superstar in your own life - whether in your business, career or personal life - means bringing your authentic brilliance to the forefront.

Your authentic brilliance is what allows you to achieve new levels of success in your life.

Authentic Brilliance... What Is?
 "How is it possible to achieve new levels of success in my life?" you may ask. It's simple: your authentic brilliance is your divine right and privilege. When you live it, you are living who you are meant to be.

Your authentic brilliance is comprised of the unique gifts, talents, style, and abilities with which you come into this world. It is what differentiates from others allowing you to stand out and be the star you are meant to be.  

It's Written Upon Your Heart
Living your authentic brilliance is about expressing what's written upon your heart. Some Idol contestants receive feedback that they're unsure of WHO they are.

For example, they may flip-flop between genres (like choosing country songs and then rock songs) although rock and roll is what's really written on their hearts.

When Oprah Winfrey switched from a confrontational-style talk show to an empowering and uplifting format, she expressed what was written upon her heart and lived her authentic brilliance.

Choose to live your authentic brilliance without fearing judgment from others. Instead of copying a co-worker's presence or a business owner's brand, express your unique style or message.

There's always time to start living a life true to who you really are, so choose to start today.

Are You Living Through the Rearview Mirror or the Windshield?

In 1987 Cher popularized the phrase, "Snap out of it!" through her Oscar-winning performance in Moonstruck. [Watch video clip]. Since then the phrase has been used to jolt others out of some deluded thought or belief.

This includes jolting people out of their B.S. (belief system) that their best life lies in the past and the future represents a cesspool of hopelessness. People who buy into this belief live in the rearview mirror of life rather than the windshield of hope, optimism, and opportunity.

"Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone." ~ Jerome K. Jerome

Reasons You Live in the Past One reason some people live in the past is they believe once they reach a certain age their life effectively ends. Therefore they see no point in acting on goals such as returning to school or embarking on a second career. Another reason people live in the rearview mirror is that this is where they once achieved success. They feel stuck and believe the wheels of success will never again turn in their favor. The opposite is also true. That is, constant focus on past failures creates fear and an unwillingness to choose optimistic outlooks.

Snap Out of It! (or How to Start Living Through the Windshield) While we learn from past experiences and they help us become who we are, rearview-mirror behaviors can be paralyzing. Below are a few tips for a forward looking approach and opening yourself up to life's possibilities and opportunities:  

Set the Intention. Make a commitment (preferably in writing) to choose hopeful and optimistic outlooks for your life. Most successful people put their goals and intentions in writing. Write an intention such as, "Each day I choose positive and optimistic outlooks for my life."

Reframe Your Thoughts. Whenever you generate a thought like "my life is over," replace it with a positive belief such as "my best days are ahead of me." Repeating this process helps you form positive thoughts and shifts your beliefs.

Learn from Others. McDonald's founder Ray Kroc is noted for saying, "When I started the company, I was 52 years old. I had diabetes, lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland. But I was convinced that the best was ahead of me." Kroc chose the windshield approach. Seek opportunities to learn from people like Kroc who have been in your shoes and who overcame their situation.

Take Action. Take one small step toward creating the life you really want (and deserve!). If your goal involves furthering your education, meet with an academic advisor to discuss returning to school. Taking action is liberating and helps removes perceived barriers to growth.

Choosing to move forward may seem scary and you may feel like retreating when you see roadblocks. Understand that one of the best gifts you can give yourself is to live in the optimism that is already yours. Claim it! You do not need permission, so start living through the windshield of hope and optimism today.

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 2)

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." ~Dale Carnegie

The fascinating period in history known as the Romantic Period is the basis for this three-part blog which examines three “Romantic” principles you can apply to your life to achieve positive change and fulfillment.

Last week, part one gave an overview of the Romantic Period and covered the first principle, Express Yourself. You may catch it here.

And now for principle two…

2. Remember the Importance of Emotions
Romantics such as Beethoven and Schubert placed emphasis on emotion rather than intellect. They explored their minds and FEELINGS and they used art and literature to express their emotions.

While intellect plays an important part in our lives, emotion is also important to us and our relationships. Yet, sometimes we choose to hide our emotions because in many instances, it is what we have been conditioned to do.

When I was 12 years old, my father passed away unexpectedly. Perhaps through being conditioned by society, I thought I was being strong by not CRYING at his funeral.

We are afraid to cry and we view people who cry as weak. We are afraid to hug others because it is too “touchy-feely,” and we sometimes refrain from using the word “love.”

I once worked in an organization where the culture allowed us to express our emotions. We greeted each other with hugs instead of handshakes, the CEO told us he loved us, and it was not unusual for people to express themselves through TEARS. We were encouraged to live our lives with passion and enthusiasm!

This type of work environment allowed us to create strong bonds and made us feel like part of a family. It did not prevent us from maintaining a professional work environment or professional relationships.

Choosing to express your emotion can be as simple as telling your child you love him/her, expressing your genuine appreciation to a co-worker, letting a parent know how grateful you are for his/her love and support, or expressing your passion and enthusiasm for something.

You may also choose to perform a kind deed for someone; sometimes action speaks louder than words.

Expressing your emotion does not mean you have to hug every person on the street; although, this approach may help make the world a better place and has worked well for others. Watch video

In what ways will you choose to express your emotion?

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 1)

"There will always be thousands of princes, but there is only one Beethoven." ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Imagine a time when society breaks free from traditional beliefs, places emphasis on emotion rather than intellect, and embarks on an exploration of the “L” word…love.

Such was the case during the Romantic Period (or Romantic Era) in history.

The Romantic Period has little to do with romantic love. This period in history was a time of great CHANGE and emancipation.

What is the Romantic Period?
The Romantic Period was an artistic and philosophical movement (around the late 1700s to mid-1900s) when artists moved away from the strict laws of balance and restraint of previous periods.

Many Romantics of the early 1800s reacted against what they felt was the excessive focus on the rational part of the human psyche by enlightenment thinkers, the rigid rules of Neoclassical art, and political elitism.

Artists, such as Beethoven, emerged and began to express artistic freedom, experimentation, and creativity in their work.
Learn more about the Romantic Period

So how can you apply some of the principles of the Romantic Period to achieve positive change and fulfillment in your life? This three-part blog will examine a few ways.

3 Romantic Principles To Apply To Your Life
The Romantic Movement embraced six principal characteristics. Here we will examine three of the six principles and how you can apply them to your life.
Also see: Challenge Rules If They Don’t Make Sense

1. As the 1970s song goes, “Express Yourself”
During the Romantic Period, the expression of individual feelings through artistic work ruled the day. Painters, writers, and musicians—many of whom are famously known by a single name (Beethoven, Schubert, Goethe)—rebelled against traditional beliefs, styles, or institutions. Their personal feelings and expressions were reflected in their work.

When applying this principle to your life, think in terms of expressing your individuality.

Oftentimes you may conform to rigid rules and standards that do not allow you to express who you really are.

Your true self may be suppressed because you are influenced by the media, meaningless values placed upon you by society, peer pressure, and other factors.

BREAK FREE from traditional beliefs and seek viable avenues for self-expression. Commit to taking on a new project at work that allows you to contribute your style and individuality, join a group where your talents and ideas are welcome, write a blog, speak your truth, or act on your own innovative idea.

What are some ways in which you express your individuality?

Next Week: “Romantic Period” (Part 2) focuses on Emotion versus Intellect. See you then!

Gratitude During Difficult Times

"Gratitude is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues."
-Dr. Robert Emmons

At some point in life, we all face challenges. It may seem odd to be grateful during moments of adversity; however, gratitude is not reserved only for the good times.

According to Mike Robbins, author of Focus on the Good Stuff, "It seems counterintuitive to be grateful for challenges. However, most of us have had really difficult things happen to us, and looking back on some of the most painful challenges, many people (myself included) honestly say that they’re grateful to have had those difficult experiences."

So why be grateful during tough times? When you look back at those moments quite often you will see the positive results of those experiences. For example, they may have allowed you to grow as a person, strengthened your character, increased your knowledge, or led you to new, greater opportunities.

In the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I briefly describe how I faced personal financial difficulties. In retrospect, I realized how that experience led me to new and rewarding opportunities including the opportunity to inspire others to live their best life.

Moreover, the philosophy I developed was this: I cannot expect to receive more (opportunities, abundance, rewards...) if I was not already grateful for what I had.

As you express your appreciation this Thanksgiving, take what may seem like a counterintuitive approach and give thanks for your life’s challenges. Reflect on how those moments have or will positively impact your life.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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Get off the Ledge of Despair, Please

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
-Wayne Dyer

While walking in the neighborhood one Sunday afternoon, I overheard a backyard conversation taking place by phone. “Look at the bright side,” the man said to whoever was on the other end of the line. Clearly this man was doing his best to shed optimism on someone’s situation.

When you are faced with a tough situation it may be easy to slip into despair. It may be equally difficult to “look at the bright side.” For some, being in a state of despair is short-lived because they rely on their inner strength and/or the help of others to come through a difficult time.

For others, getting past despair is perceived as nearly impossible. They live their lives by false truths believing they are destined for a life of misery and hopelessness. They climb onto the ledge of despair and any attempt to talk them down is met with verbal assault and negativity.

If you or someone you know behaves this way, it is important to understand that the more you think there is no hope for you, the more negative thoughts and outcomes you will attract into your life. (Also see Be Careful What You DON’T Wish For). Success is due in great part to the way you think. Begin to see things in a different way and believe there is as much opportunity for you as there is for anyone else.

Instead of obstacles, see opportunities; see how something may work for you instead of how it will not work. Take the time to investigate solutions before shooting them down. This approach allows you to make informed decisions rather than decisions based on speculation.

When those who care about you share positive thoughts, words of encouragement, and suggestions for moving your life forward, thank them and get off the ledge of despair. In life you have choices: you can choose to believe yours is a life of misery and hopelessness or you can change the way you think and seize the opportunities life has to offer. Choose the latter, please.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
Visit website: www.christinenferguson.com
Follow the Enrichment Blog: christineferguson.blogspot.com
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