A Commonly Overlooked Place For Solutions To Life Challenges

One evening a radio talk show caught my ear as I coasted down a busy Las Vegas freeway. A caller seeking advice from financial expert Dave Ramsey explained that she was experiencing challenges with her personal finances.

Dave asked questions, listened intently, and gave his expert opinion as the caller explained her mortgage situation.

She added that her husband seemed hopeless and indecisive about their life and financial dilemma; more so since his mother’s passing.

After extracting more information from the woman, Dave eventually responded with “I don’t know what to tell you… your problem is a spiritual one.” Her husband had lost hope for his future and the desire to move forward.

 "Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung

When we experience life challenges, whether it is financial, business or relationship, we tend to look outside ourselves first for solutions rather than starting within.

Because we are all on a spiritual journey, experiences are presented to us so we may learn, evolve, and move forward on our path. As Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck explains:

Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.
This includes every mosquito
 every misfortune,
every red light,
every traffic jam,
every obnoxious supervisor
(or employee),
every illness, every loss,
every moment of joy or depression,
every addiction,
every piece of garbage,
every breath.
Every moment is the guru.

When you experience life challenges, reflect on your situation and consider what you may be learning from that experience. Be grateful for your experiences because “every moment is the guru.”

When you feel uncertain about the situation and the lesson, Ask God/Higher Power/Universe for guidance and clarity. As you may know, a lesson will continue to show up until it is learned.

Understand that you possess the power, courage, and inner strength to move beyond your situation.

However, start by looking within. When you do, you awaken. You evolve. Ultimately, you discover the lesson and the GOOD it brings you.

How has looking within helped you overcome life challenges?

How Well Are You Moving Forward in 2013?

If you hold the vision of a bright future for yourself, you've probably set a series of goals in 2013 designed to make your vision a reality.

As with any goal setting process, you've most likely measured your progress to determine how well you are moving forward.

If you find you are not progressing as quickly as you'd like, one behavior you may consider implementing is the act of letting go. While there are many techniques that allow you to move forward, letting go of emotional baggage is one that's often overlooked.

For example, you may be holding on to past hurts such as being betrayed by a spouse or not feeling loved by a parent or child. Living from this emotional space can slow your personal and emotional growth.

"As I walked out the door toward my freedom I knew that if I did not leave all the anger, hatred and bitterness behind, I would still be in prison." ~ Nelson Mandela

Letting go frees you to live in the moment, opens the door to new opportunities, and allows you to move forward.

The act of forgiveness does not mean condoning the wrongdoer's actions, it means freeing yourself from emotional baggage that weighs you down. After all, how well can you fly when you're tethered to baggage?

Begin by forgiving the person you believe hurt you in some way. This may be challenging at first; however, it becomes easier over time.

Several ways you can practice forgiveness and letting go is to journal your thoughts and feelings about the person. You may also hold a 'pretend conversation' with the person. Speak with the individual as if s/he were there. Then pretend s/he is responding to what you're expressing. It also helps to focus on positive aspects of the person rather than just his or her negative behaviors.

Remember, ill feelings consume energy that can otherwise be channeled to a more positive place.

For more on forgiveness and letting go, check out this article by the Chopra Center.

How To Become An American Idol… There’s Still Time

The hit reality TV series American Idol is currently wrapping auditions for Season 12 and thousands are showcasing their talent for a shot at stardom.

A solid piece of feedback judges offer some contestants is: bring an authentic voice or unique style to the competition.

Without a unique voice or presence, it becomes challenging for contestants to stand out and they may not be valued as marketable stars.

Being a Superstar
Similarly, being an American Idol or superstar in your own life - whether in your business, career or personal life - means bringing your authentic brilliance to the forefront.

Your authentic brilliance is what allows you to achieve new levels of success in your life.

Authentic Brilliance... What Is?
 "How is it possible to achieve new levels of success in my life?" you may ask. It's simple: your authentic brilliance is your divine right and privilege. When you live it, you are living who you are meant to be.

Your authentic brilliance is comprised of the unique gifts, talents, style, and abilities with which you come into this world. It is what differentiates from others allowing you to stand out and be the star you are meant to be.  

It's Written Upon Your Heart
Living your authentic brilliance is about expressing what's written upon your heart. Some Idol contestants receive feedback that they're unsure of WHO they are.

For example, they may flip-flop between genres (like choosing country songs and then rock songs) although rock and roll is what's really written on their hearts.

When Oprah Winfrey switched from a confrontational-style talk show to an empowering and uplifting format, she expressed what was written upon her heart and lived her authentic brilliance.

Choose to live your authentic brilliance without fearing judgment from others. Instead of copying a co-worker's presence or a business owner's brand, express your unique style or message.

There's always time to start living a life true to who you really are, so choose to start today.

A Father's Love is Sometimes Unspoken: An Unforgettable Discovery of Truth

Like some dads, my father did not express his emotions often.

Thirty years after his passing, I continued to believe he may not have loved me very much. That is, until one day when I had an unforgettable experience.

Three years ago, while attending a personal development course, the trainer instructed the group to get into pairs and complete an exercise on appreciating and understanding our parents.

As it turned out, the man I had partnered with was an educated, intelligent young man from the Caribbean—just like my dad. The instructor turned down the lights, and I closed my eyes and began speaking with my partner as if he were my father.

The words that came out of my mouth went something like, “You were always so strict with us and I feel you never really loved me.”

With my eyes still closed, I heard this loving and peaceful reply assuring me I was loved. “You see,” said the voice, “I was raised to be a strong man. That was my way. I wanted you to be strong. I wanted the best for you.”

I heard what seemed to be my father’s voice, continuing to speak with me and putting to rest the doubts I had carried for so long.

Within minutes, tears were streaming down my face because not only did I understand; I also felt that in some way my father was at peace for finally sharing these thoughts with me.

On this Father’s Day, enjoy this inspiring video, in which the true story of Dick Hoyt and his son Rick unfold. As you watch, know that although your father may not express his love for you by running marathons, he loves you in his own way.

___________________________
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What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period – Part 3: Be Outrageous

“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.” ~ Thea Alexander

Get ready to be outrageous! In What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period, 3 characteristics from the Romantic Period are revealed as well as how you can apply each characteristic to achieve positive change and fulfillment in your life.

Here is a quick recap of Parts 1 and 2:
The Romantic Period was an artistic and philosophical movement (around the late 1700s to mid-1900s) when artists moved away from the strict laws of balance and restraint of previous periods.
Part 1 explored Self-Expression
Part 2 examined Emotion versus Intellect

Part 3: Be Outrageous
Here, we explore a third characteristic of the Romantic Period: a love of the fantastic and exotic. Romantic artists might display this by using fantasy, dreams, exotic lands and cultures, or exotic, idealized historical periods.

You can apply the fantastic and exotic to your life by being outrageous in your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors.

Dream Big
Some of the greatest achievements in history started with what many considered outrageous dreams and ideas: the Wright brothers and their first powered and piloted plane, Walt Disney and his Mickey Mouse concept, Ted Turner and his 24-hour news station, CNN.

Dare to be an outrageous dreamer. Think BIG. When you do, you open up yourself to unimaginable possibilities.

Think Different
Romantics with a love of the fantastic and exotic probed more deeply into their creative imagination. Get outrageous by probing into your creative imagination! Challenge routine thought patterns by seeing things differently and asking creative questions.

Einstein, who was famous for questioning the ways things worked, said “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand.” See how far your creative imagination will take you.

Change Your Attitude
Another way to be outrageous is in your attitude. When you are faced with a challenging situation, practice having a different attitude; this shifts your energy, allows you to see things in a new way, and leads to positive outcomes.

People who lost their jobs as a result of the economy (including me), saw it as an opportunity to start a new business, develop a new skill, or get an education.

Think of it this way: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
Watch 3-Minute Video

Being outrageous may mean getting out of your comfort zone. As you may have heard me say, when you are out of your comfort zone you are learning and growing.

In what ways are you outrageous?

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 1)

"There will always be thousands of princes, but there is only one Beethoven." ~ Ludwig van Beethoven

Imagine a time when society breaks free from traditional beliefs, places emphasis on emotion rather than intellect, and embarks on an exploration of the “L” word…love.

Such was the case during the Romantic Period (or Romantic Era) in history.

The Romantic Period has little to do with romantic love. This period in history was a time of great CHANGE and emancipation.

What is the Romantic Period?
The Romantic Period was an artistic and philosophical movement (around the late 1700s to mid-1900s) when artists moved away from the strict laws of balance and restraint of previous periods.

Many Romantics of the early 1800s reacted against what they felt was the excessive focus on the rational part of the human psyche by enlightenment thinkers, the rigid rules of Neoclassical art, and political elitism.

Artists, such as Beethoven, emerged and began to express artistic freedom, experimentation, and creativity in their work.
Learn more about the Romantic Period

So how can you apply some of the principles of the Romantic Period to achieve positive change and fulfillment in your life? This three-part blog will examine a few ways.

3 Romantic Principles To Apply To Your Life
The Romantic Movement embraced six principal characteristics. Here we will examine three of the six principles and how you can apply them to your life.
Also see: Challenge Rules If They Don’t Make Sense

1. As the 1970s song goes, “Express Yourself”
During the Romantic Period, the expression of individual feelings through artistic work ruled the day. Painters, writers, and musicians—many of whom are famously known by a single name (Beethoven, Schubert, Goethe)—rebelled against traditional beliefs, styles, or institutions. Their personal feelings and expressions were reflected in their work.

When applying this principle to your life, think in terms of expressing your individuality.

Oftentimes you may conform to rigid rules and standards that do not allow you to express who you really are.

Your true self may be suppressed because you are influenced by the media, meaningless values placed upon you by society, peer pressure, and other factors.

BREAK FREE from traditional beliefs and seek viable avenues for self-expression. Commit to taking on a new project at work that allows you to contribute your style and individuality, join a group where your talents and ideas are welcome, write a blog, speak your truth, or act on your own innovative idea.

What are some ways in which you express your individuality?

Next Week: “Romantic Period” (Part 2) focuses on Emotion versus Intellect. See you then!

So You Want to Put One Foot in Front of the Other?

"Things that seem hard are not always that hard. Put one foot in front of the other, and you’ll get to the end." ~ Author Unknown

After years of being physically active, my fitness routine was slowly becoming non-existent. Consequently, I committed to walking every morning for 30-45 minutes during the month of April until physical activity was again a habit.

The Challenge of Putting One Foot in Front of the Other
One morning I stepped outside and began questioning my decision to go walking. The sky was distinctly ominous and wind gusts were so strong I struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Nonetheless, I pushed forward determined to honor my commitment.

Better Days May be Around the Corner
Within minutes I rounded a corner and the wind tapered off thereby making my walk more manageable. Tumbleweeds blew through the streets, flowers were flattened by the wind, and there wasn’t another hiker or jogger around.

Although I considered walking for twenty minutes instead of forty-five, I pressed on despite powerful gusts which occasionally pushed me along and blasted my face with cool air.

Also see: Persistence: The Stuff of Legends and Heroes

It IS Possible to Complete the Journey
Twenty minutes later, I formed the analogy between my determination to keep walking and those who push forward to achieve a goal or dream.

The real “ah-ha!” came when I realized I nearly canceled my walk until I turned the corner and saw the possibility of keeping my commitment.

Similarly, when you embark on a goal or dream, following through may seem difficult at first. However, when you stay focused and committed, the winds will change in your favor.

Along the way, the winds may shift and temporarily upset your balance. Yet, by continually putting one foot in front of the other, you will complete the journey.

That morning, I put one foot in front of the other and completed a forty-five minute journey.
___________________________
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3 Ways We Sabotage Ourselves

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

There usually isn’t a straight path to achieving a goal or dream. There may be unexpected U-turns or bumps in the road. What about when we are the ones who unknowingly create such barriers? We make excuses, see obstacles, or give in to fear. That is what’s known as self-sabotage. There are many ways we sabotage ourselves. Here are three ways in which we do:

Copying Someone Else
When I was younger I loved to sing! (I still do.) I practiced hitting the same high notes as Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, but couldn’t quite get there. As I grew older I realized that being a singer was not my life’s purpose. As my life and career evolved, I learned that by not being yourself you unwittingly mask your own gifts and uniqueness. Knowing this, had I decided to become a singer I would have sung in my own style. I would not be Whitney Houston. I would not be Mariah Carey. I would be Christine Ferguson. As you set out to be whatever it is you decide to be, remember there is only one you. Be your unique and brilliant self!

Also see: Own Your Greatness

Believing You Are Not as Smart as Others
After opening my résumé writing service in the mid-1990s, I felt there were writers in the industry who were more talented. I learned from others as I grew my business, joined a professional association, and became a Certified Résumé Writer. One day a friend asked: why not publish your own résumé writing book? I replied that I had not reached that level in my career. Certainly there were more experienced writers, but by BELIEVING I wasn’t smart enough, I robbed myself of the confidence to write a book based on my level of expertise. Sometimes what is needed is more confidence, not more “smarts.” Whatever you feel you may be lacking, you can always turn to others for help. Most writers, for example, never publish a book by themselves.

Buying into Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is one of the most common ways in which we sabotage ourselves. Some of the things we tell ourselves are simply atrocious: I’m unworthy of love or success. I’m a failure. I do not deserve to live. Thoughts are real. When you feed yourself these negative thoughts, your subconscious mind believes them and these thoughts manifest themselves in your behaviors. In the book, The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I address the issue of negative self-talk. One way is to practice replacing negative thought with positive ones. Eventually, you will become better at turning down the negative self-talk. You can also begin to shift your thoughts by focusing on your gifts and the positive aspects of your life.

For more tips and success strategies, click here to download the free article 8 Ways to Think Like a Winner.

How have you sabotaged yourself and how did you resolve it?
___________________________
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What it Means When You Feel Your Life is Worthless

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." -William James

Imagine spending 76 days at sea…alone…in a small life raft. That’s exactly what happened to one man after he set out for some alone time at sea. His trip soon turned disastrous when his boat sank during a storm. He struggled to stay alive while battling sharks, starvation, and unbearable thirst.

During his ordeal, he frequently reflected on his life. He surmised he had made nothing of himself and being lost at sea was what he deserved. Instantly, I was reminded of all the times I had heard others say, "My life is worthless."

The truth is, of course, our lives are not worthless. Each of us has a purpose that we may not yet have realized. CNN Hero, Susan Burton sums it up this way, “We all have a gift and a purpose, and when we find that purpose we become heroic.”

Some measure their worth by other people’s standards thereby losing sight of their true purpose and worth. In her Stanford University commencement address, Oprah Winfrey recounted how early in her anchorwoman career she emulated Barbara Walters. The producers suggested Oprah change her name and her appearance. Things soon went downhill.

Thereafter, she lost her job and was offered her own talk show in order to fulfill her contract. According to Oprah, from the minute she began hosting her show she felt she was "home." No longer was she living by others' standards. More importantly, she had discovered her purpose.

If you have not yet discovered your purpose, focus on the things you are passionate about and attracted to, things that stir your excitement. These are usually clues to your purpose.

Ultimately, the man in the raft was rescued. His experience made him realize he still had goals and dreams to fulfill. When you begin having doubts about your worth, remember your life has meaning and those thoughts are reminders you have not yet discovered your purpose. Keep moving in a forward direction and you soon will.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine Ferguson

___________________________
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Gratitude During Difficult Times

"Gratitude is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues."
-Dr. Robert Emmons

At some point in life, we all face challenges. It may seem odd to be grateful during moments of adversity; however, gratitude is not reserved only for the good times.

According to Mike Robbins, author of Focus on the Good Stuff, "It seems counterintuitive to be grateful for challenges. However, most of us have had really difficult things happen to us, and looking back on some of the most painful challenges, many people (myself included) honestly say that they’re grateful to have had those difficult experiences."

So why be grateful during tough times? When you look back at those moments quite often you will see the positive results of those experiences. For example, they may have allowed you to grow as a person, strengthened your character, increased your knowledge, or led you to new, greater opportunities.

In the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I briefly describe how I faced personal financial difficulties. In retrospect, I realized how that experience led me to new and rewarding opportunities including the opportunity to inspire others to live their best life.

Moreover, the philosophy I developed was this: I cannot expect to receive more (opportunities, abundance, rewards...) if I was not already grateful for what I had.

As you express your appreciation this Thanksgiving, take what may seem like a counterintuitive approach and give thanks for your life’s challenges. Reflect on how those moments have or will positively impact your life.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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Diplomacy Always Trumps Rudeness

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." -Unknown

After wrapping up my call with a bank representative she concluded with, "Thank you for being so nice." Her comment suggested she had encountered her share of impolite customers. You, too, may have experienced rudeness from clients, customer service representatives, co-workers, or even bosses.

Those who choose to be rude do so for any number of reasons including ranting and raving about a problem believing someone will be forced to resolve their issue.

If I Yell Loud Enough Someone Will Fix My Problem
Sometimes this approach may work, but at what cost? You may defame yourself or cause a company or an individual to avoid communication with you. In 2007, Sprint-Nextel terminated several customer relationships because they believed these customers had become too high maintenance. The company felt it had done everything it could to resolve calls from customers who were constantly disputing their bills. This does not mean the carrier’s response was justified. Yet, it shows being a squeaky wheel can generate the opposite response. Additionally, one can be a squeaky wheel without being rude.

Taking the High Road
When you are rude, one of the messages you send is that you do not respect that individual. Always be respectful of others. Wouldn’t you expect the same for yourself? You cannot expect to receive that which you are not willing to give. If rudeness gets the best of you, then apologize for your behavior. Imagine what that will do to resolve conflicts and improve relationships.

What are You Hiding?
Being rude may also suggest you have something to hide. During an Enron conference call a financial analyst stated, “You're the only financial institution that can't produce a balance sheet or cash flow statement with their earnings.” CEO Jeffrey Skilling reacted with this infamous remark, "Well, uh ... Thank you very much. We appreciate it ... a**hole!" Skilling’s rude reaction stemmed from the fact he had something to hide—Enron’s nonexistent earnings.

Diplomacy Trumps Rudeness
When you are diplomatic instead of rude, others will respond more favorably to you. After arriving at the airport a friend discovered her return flight had been delayed. Rather than make demands and get upset, she chose to adopt an attitude of "It is what it is." Do you know what happened next? In her words, "The ticket agent took the initiative, booked me on another flight that I didn't request, walked over to me and handed me new plane tickets!"

That’s diplomacy in action! When you trade rudeness for diplomacy you will create more positive relationships, position yourself as someone of character, and earn the respect of others.

What are some situations in which you have chosen diplomacy over rudeness?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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Life is Not about Fearing Wrinkles

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.”

Every day we are bombarded with ads for products that promise to make us look younger. I get it. We all want to look younger and feel good about ourselves. Occasionally I, too, dab night cream around my eyes to stave off the emergence of wrinkles.

Imagine, then, how refreshing it is to hear someone say, "I look forward to growing old" or "I’m evaluating what really matters, like earning the privilege of wrinkles." The latter comment was made by a friend who recently had a medical scare—one of many as she continues to battle a blood disorder.

Sometimes the onslaught of perfect-body-images portrayed in the media tends to make us forget what really matters. Life is not about fearing wrinkles or the aging process. It is about the experiences that shape our lives, define our characters, and create our legacies.

Taking care of our bodies and staying healthy is important. Yet, our bodies are not who we are. They are the place where we become who we are. By fearing the aging process we lose sight of the importance of our journey through life and the many meaningful experiences along the way.

As someone once said, "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – 'Wow! What a Ride!' "*

How are you making your life’s journey meaningful and memorable?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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*This quote has been attributed to several different sources.

Get off the Ledge of Despair, Please

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
-Wayne Dyer

While walking in the neighborhood one Sunday afternoon, I overheard a backyard conversation taking place by phone. “Look at the bright side,” the man said to whoever was on the other end of the line. Clearly this man was doing his best to shed optimism on someone’s situation.

When you are faced with a tough situation it may be easy to slip into despair. It may be equally difficult to “look at the bright side.” For some, being in a state of despair is short-lived because they rely on their inner strength and/or the help of others to come through a difficult time.

For others, getting past despair is perceived as nearly impossible. They live their lives by false truths believing they are destined for a life of misery and hopelessness. They climb onto the ledge of despair and any attempt to talk them down is met with verbal assault and negativity.

If you or someone you know behaves this way, it is important to understand that the more you think there is no hope for you, the more negative thoughts and outcomes you will attract into your life. (Also see Be Careful What You DON’T Wish For). Success is due in great part to the way you think. Begin to see things in a different way and believe there is as much opportunity for you as there is for anyone else.

Instead of obstacles, see opportunities; see how something may work for you instead of how it will not work. Take the time to investigate solutions before shooting them down. This approach allows you to make informed decisions rather than decisions based on speculation.

When those who care about you share positive thoughts, words of encouragement, and suggestions for moving your life forward, thank them and get off the ledge of despair. In life you have choices: you can choose to believe yours is a life of misery and hopelessness or you can change the way you think and seize the opportunities life has to offer. Choose the latter, please.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

___________________________
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