Want To Be Happier? Stop Looking Outside Yourself

"Expecting something outside of you to get better in order for you to make your life work...is something for you to take a hard look at." ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever told yourself you would be happier if you won the lottery, had a better job, lost weight, or found a new love? If so, you're not alone.

People often believe something outside of themselves will make them happier. For some, more money would indeed solve daily challenges such as the ability to pay bills. For others, a change in their weight or work life might boost their mood.

The truth is, external elements bring only temporary happiness. Once you have enough money to pay your bills, have lost weight, or have fallen in love, your happiness subsides and you begin looking for the next external element to make you happy.

When Hollywood director Tom Shadyac began making millions through hit films such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty, he noticed that as he acquired huge mansions and fancy cars, he wasn't any happier. After facing his own death, Tom gained clarity and purpose and gave up most of his material possessions. He documents his journey in the movie, I Am.

Happiness begins within you. Love and appreciate yourself, choose positive thoughts, be grateful for what you have, and make the most of your situation. The things you take for granted everyday...clean water, electricity, clothes...are blessings for someone else.

When you choose to live in this way, you attract more positivity and happiness into your life.

In the words of Buddha, "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."

Celebrate Your Successes - You've Earned Them!

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

When people hear the word "success," they often think of lofty achievements such as wealth, fame, and the accumulation of material possessions.

We tend to get so caught up in this definition of success that we overlook other achievements in our lives.

When you reflect on your life, you will see you've achieved many successes -- successes you EARNED!

Think back on those moments when you were hired for a new job, raised a family, started a business, performed acts of kindness, chose a healthier lifestyle, or learned a new skill.

In his book, The Success Principles, Jack Canfield cites a management study which reveals that 46% of employees left their company because they felt unappreciated and 88% said they were not acknowledged for their work.

People have an inherent need to be acknowledged and appreciated. Start by acknowledging yourself for your successes.

Create a list of successes you've achieved over your lifetime. The list can be as long or as short as you'd like. This exercise allows you to see success in a different way and helps amplify your self-worth.

Once you've acknowledged your successes, CELEBRATE them; you've earned it!

What You Can Learn From the Romantic Period (Part 2)

"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion." ~Dale Carnegie

The fascinating period in history known as the Romantic Period is the basis for this three-part blog which examines three “Romantic” principles you can apply to your life to achieve positive change and fulfillment.

Last week, part one gave an overview of the Romantic Period and covered the first principle, Express Yourself. You may catch it here.

And now for principle two…

2. Remember the Importance of Emotions
Romantics such as Beethoven and Schubert placed emphasis on emotion rather than intellect. They explored their minds and FEELINGS and they used art and literature to express their emotions.

While intellect plays an important part in our lives, emotion is also important to us and our relationships. Yet, sometimes we choose to hide our emotions because in many instances, it is what we have been conditioned to do.

When I was 12 years old, my father passed away unexpectedly. Perhaps through being conditioned by society, I thought I was being strong by not CRYING at his funeral.

We are afraid to cry and we view people who cry as weak. We are afraid to hug others because it is too “touchy-feely,” and we sometimes refrain from using the word “love.”

I once worked in an organization where the culture allowed us to express our emotions. We greeted each other with hugs instead of handshakes, the CEO told us he loved us, and it was not unusual for people to express themselves through TEARS. We were encouraged to live our lives with passion and enthusiasm!

This type of work environment allowed us to create strong bonds and made us feel like part of a family. It did not prevent us from maintaining a professional work environment or professional relationships.

Choosing to express your emotion can be as simple as telling your child you love him/her, expressing your genuine appreciation to a co-worker, letting a parent know how grateful you are for his/her love and support, or expressing your passion and enthusiasm for something.

You may also choose to perform a kind deed for someone; sometimes action speaks louder than words.

Expressing your emotion does not mean you have to hug every person on the street; although, this approach may help make the world a better place and has worked well for others. Watch video

In what ways will you choose to express your emotion?

Gratitude During Difficult Times

"Gratitude is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues."
-Dr. Robert Emmons

At some point in life, we all face challenges. It may seem odd to be grateful during moments of adversity; however, gratitude is not reserved only for the good times.

According to Mike Robbins, author of Focus on the Good Stuff, "It seems counterintuitive to be grateful for challenges. However, most of us have had really difficult things happen to us, and looking back on some of the most painful challenges, many people (myself included) honestly say that they’re grateful to have had those difficult experiences."

So why be grateful during tough times? When you look back at those moments quite often you will see the positive results of those experiences. For example, they may have allowed you to grow as a person, strengthened your character, increased your knowledge, or led you to new, greater opportunities.

In the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I briefly describe how I faced personal financial difficulties. In retrospect, I realized how that experience led me to new and rewarding opportunities including the opportunity to inspire others to live their best life.

Moreover, the philosophy I developed was this: I cannot expect to receive more (opportunities, abundance, rewards...) if I was not already grateful for what I had.

As you express your appreciation this Thanksgiving, take what may seem like a counterintuitive approach and give thanks for your life’s challenges. Reflect on how those moments have or will positively impact your life.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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