What it Means When You Feel Your Life is Worthless

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." -William James

Imagine spending 76 days at sea…alone…in a small life raft. That’s exactly what happened to one man after he set out for some alone time at sea. His trip soon turned disastrous when his boat sank during a storm. He struggled to stay alive while battling sharks, starvation, and unbearable thirst.

During his ordeal, he frequently reflected on his life. He surmised he had made nothing of himself and being lost at sea was what he deserved. Instantly, I was reminded of all the times I had heard others say, "My life is worthless."

The truth is, of course, our lives are not worthless. Each of us has a purpose that we may not yet have realized. CNN Hero, Susan Burton sums it up this way, “We all have a gift and a purpose, and when we find that purpose we become heroic.”

Some measure their worth by other people’s standards thereby losing sight of their true purpose and worth. In her Stanford University commencement address, Oprah Winfrey recounted how early in her anchorwoman career she emulated Barbara Walters. The producers suggested Oprah change her name and her appearance. Things soon went downhill.

Thereafter, she lost her job and was offered her own talk show in order to fulfill her contract. According to Oprah, from the minute she began hosting her show she felt she was "home." No longer was she living by others' standards. More importantly, she had discovered her purpose.

If you have not yet discovered your purpose, focus on the things you are passionate about and attracted to, things that stir your excitement. These are usually clues to your purpose.

Ultimately, the man in the raft was rescued. His experience made him realize he still had goals and dreams to fulfill. When you begin having doubts about your worth, remember your life has meaning and those thoughts are reminders you have not yet discovered your purpose. Keep moving in a forward direction and you soon will.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine Ferguson

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Gratitude During Difficult Times

"Gratitude is one of the most neglected emotions and one of the most underestimated of the virtues."
-Dr. Robert Emmons

At some point in life, we all face challenges. It may seem odd to be grateful during moments of adversity; however, gratitude is not reserved only for the good times.

According to Mike Robbins, author of Focus on the Good Stuff, "It seems counterintuitive to be grateful for challenges. However, most of us have had really difficult things happen to us, and looking back on some of the most painful challenges, many people (myself included) honestly say that they’re grateful to have had those difficult experiences."

So why be grateful during tough times? When you look back at those moments quite often you will see the positive results of those experiences. For example, they may have allowed you to grow as a person, strengthened your character, increased your knowledge, or led you to new, greater opportunities.

In the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, I briefly describe how I faced personal financial difficulties. In retrospect, I realized how that experience led me to new and rewarding opportunities including the opportunity to inspire others to live their best life.

Moreover, the philosophy I developed was this: I cannot expect to receive more (opportunities, abundance, rewards...) if I was not already grateful for what I had.

As you express your appreciation this Thanksgiving, take what may seem like a counterintuitive approach and give thanks for your life’s challenges. Reflect on how those moments have or will positively impact your life.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Diplomacy Always Trumps Rudeness

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are." -Unknown

After wrapping up my call with a bank representative she concluded with, "Thank you for being so nice." Her comment suggested she had encountered her share of impolite customers. You, too, may have experienced rudeness from clients, customer service representatives, co-workers, or even bosses.

Those who choose to be rude do so for any number of reasons including ranting and raving about a problem believing someone will be forced to resolve their issue.

If I Yell Loud Enough Someone Will Fix My Problem
Sometimes this approach may work, but at what cost? You may defame yourself or cause a company or an individual to avoid communication with you. In 2007, Sprint-Nextel terminated several customer relationships because they believed these customers had become too high maintenance. The company felt it had done everything it could to resolve calls from customers who were constantly disputing their bills. This does not mean the carrier’s response was justified. Yet, it shows being a squeaky wheel can generate the opposite response. Additionally, one can be a squeaky wheel without being rude.

Taking the High Road
When you are rude, one of the messages you send is that you do not respect that individual. Always be respectful of others. Wouldn’t you expect the same for yourself? You cannot expect to receive that which you are not willing to give. If rudeness gets the best of you, then apologize for your behavior. Imagine what that will do to resolve conflicts and improve relationships.

What are You Hiding?
Being rude may also suggest you have something to hide. During an Enron conference call a financial analyst stated, “You're the only financial institution that can't produce a balance sheet or cash flow statement with their earnings.” CEO Jeffrey Skilling reacted with this infamous remark, "Well, uh ... Thank you very much. We appreciate it ... a**hole!" Skilling’s rude reaction stemmed from the fact he had something to hide—Enron’s nonexistent earnings.

Diplomacy Trumps Rudeness
When you are diplomatic instead of rude, others will respond more favorably to you. After arriving at the airport a friend discovered her return flight had been delayed. Rather than make demands and get upset, she chose to adopt an attitude of "It is what it is." Do you know what happened next? In her words, "The ticket agent took the initiative, booked me on another flight that I didn't request, walked over to me and handed me new plane tickets!"

That’s diplomacy in action! When you trade rudeness for diplomacy you will create more positive relationships, position yourself as someone of character, and earn the respect of others.

What are some situations in which you have chosen diplomacy over rudeness?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Life is Not about Fearing Wrinkles

“Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body.”

Every day we are bombarded with ads for products that promise to make us look younger. I get it. We all want to look younger and feel good about ourselves. Occasionally I, too, dab night cream around my eyes to stave off the emergence of wrinkles.

Imagine, then, how refreshing it is to hear someone say, "I look forward to growing old" or "I’m evaluating what really matters, like earning the privilege of wrinkles." The latter comment was made by a friend who recently had a medical scare—one of many as she continues to battle a blood disorder.

Sometimes the onslaught of perfect-body-images portrayed in the media tends to make us forget what really matters. Life is not about fearing wrinkles or the aging process. It is about the experiences that shape our lives, define our characters, and create our legacies.

Taking care of our bodies and staying healthy is important. Yet, our bodies are not who we are. They are the place where we become who we are. By fearing the aging process we lose sight of the importance of our journey through life and the many meaningful experiences along the way.

As someone once said, "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming – 'Wow! What a Ride!' "*

How are you making your life’s journey meaningful and memorable?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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*This quote has been attributed to several different sources.

Get off the Ledge of Despair, Please

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."
-Wayne Dyer

While walking in the neighborhood one Sunday afternoon, I overheard a backyard conversation taking place by phone. “Look at the bright side,” the man said to whoever was on the other end of the line. Clearly this man was doing his best to shed optimism on someone’s situation.

When you are faced with a tough situation it may be easy to slip into despair. It may be equally difficult to “look at the bright side.” For some, being in a state of despair is short-lived because they rely on their inner strength and/or the help of others to come through a difficult time.

For others, getting past despair is perceived as nearly impossible. They live their lives by false truths believing they are destined for a life of misery and hopelessness. They climb onto the ledge of despair and any attempt to talk them down is met with verbal assault and negativity.

If you or someone you know behaves this way, it is important to understand that the more you think there is no hope for you, the more negative thoughts and outcomes you will attract into your life. (Also see Be Careful What You DON’T Wish For). Success is due in great part to the way you think. Begin to see things in a different way and believe there is as much opportunity for you as there is for anyone else.

Instead of obstacles, see opportunities; see how something may work for you instead of how it will not work. Take the time to investigate solutions before shooting them down. This approach allows you to make informed decisions rather than decisions based on speculation.

When those who care about you share positive thoughts, words of encouragement, and suggestions for moving your life forward, thank them and get off the ledge of despair. In life you have choices: you can choose to believe yours is a life of misery and hopelessness or you can change the way you think and seize the opportunities life has to offer. Choose the latter, please.

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine

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Calling Real Leaders!

In case you missed it, last week The Real Leadership Series debuted. The Real Leadership Series is a monthly blog that highlights an individual who embodies leadership excellence and demonstrates strong character.

With today's shortage of character-based leaders there isn't a better time to raise awareness of the urgent need for real leaders.

Click here to read the first-ever RLS blog which features Alan Page, former NFL player turned Supreme Court Justice.

To nominate someone for the Real Leadership Series, email your nominations to service@EndLeadershipHunger.com. Explain what qualities (integrity, humility, respect, personal responsibility, etc.) your nominee embodies.

Christine

Your Mind and Body are Faithful Servants

The image on my television screen was of a man who was waist deep in an ice-cold river. His bare upper body exposed to the elements while he carefully carried his clothes on his shoulder to keep them dry as he crossed the river.

I was watching a reenactment of a man who had survived a deadly avalanche and, with a shattered pelvis; he was now lost and alone in the wintry, inhospitable mountains of Transylvania. The television program was I Shouldn’t Be Alive.

If you’ve read the book The Power of the Platform: Speakers on Life, then you’ve heard me talk about this television program and the incredible stories of human survival it portrays. The man is Ken Jones a former soldier. After a few days of crawling and hobbling through the vast, snowy wilderness, Jones finds help and is rescued. Two-and-a-half years after the accident, he was finally able to walk again. “The body will do what it has to do to survive. It is just an incredibly reliant and efficient machine,” says Jones.

As the body is an incredibly reliant and efficient machine so, too, is the mind. Even when you don’t believe you can make it through a tough situation, somewhere deep inside of you, there is a warrior. It may not be until you are faced with an extremely challenging time or an ordeal that you realize the strength and power of your character and how exceptionally well your mind and body serve you.

Jones brilliantly and beautifully explains it this way:

“I realized what an honest faithful, servant your body is. I felt really proud of myself. I knew I had a strong heart and character and I could get through things. So few people get the opportunity to learn about themselves so intimately and I feel privileged to have faced such struggles to get where I am now.”

Stories of survival and the human spirit inspire you with their truth about your highest capabilities and about what is possible. They are proof your mind and body will humbly and faithfully serve you through all your experiences. Always remember your priceless gifts of mind and body and use them wisely.

How will you unwrap and use your gifts?

Unleash your brilliance without boundaries,
Christine Ferguson


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