If You Want To Go Far, Follow This Success Principle

In a recent conversation with my brother-in-law, he commented on the financial success of a close friend, "I don't know how he accomplishes all those things by himself."

Accomplishing "all those things by himself" is an illusion. Although it may appear that those who achieve success do so alone, they rarely (if ever) do.

If someone tells you s/he single-handedly achieved successes, then perhaps they have not taken a hard look around and acknowledged everyone who contributed to their accomplishments. This may include acknowledging a mother's wisdom, an empowering book, or an expert's advice.

Involve Others In Your Journey
By believing that those who achieve success do so alone, you may be inclined to fly solo. Instead, involve others in your journey. When you do, you fly higher and go farther.

In the book, Goals, author Gary Ryan Blair explains, "No goal is achieved in a vacuum. We all need the guidance and support that comes only from involving others."

4 Meaningful Ways To Involve Others

1. Partner with a coach. Coaches are a superior resource for keeping you accountable, helping you clarify goals, and moving you into action.
2. Choose a mentor. Benefit from the wisdom and experience of someone who has 'been there and done that.' Meet with your mentor at scheduled times and learn from his or her successes and mistakes.
3. Attend seminars. Not only do these events offer the knowledge and experience of experts, they are opportunities to gain new contacts, meet like-minded individuals, and share ideas.
4. Ask a "non-expert." While the idea of involving others is to gain from their expertise, do not discount the knowledge others may have to offer. For example, a CEO may gain valuable insights from team members that allow him or her to reframe a problem and find solutions.

The life-changing benefit of involving others can also be found in the African proverb: "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others."

Are You Living Through the Rearview Mirror or the Windshield?

In 1987 Cher popularized the phrase, "Snap out of it!" through her Oscar-winning performance in Moonstruck. [Watch video clip]. Since then the phrase has been used to jolt others out of some deluded thought or belief.

This includes jolting people out of their B.S. (belief system) that their best life lies in the past and the future represents a cesspool of hopelessness. People who buy into this belief live in the rearview mirror of life rather than the windshield of hope, optimism, and opportunity.

"Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone." ~ Jerome K. Jerome

Reasons You Live in the Past One reason some people live in the past is they believe once they reach a certain age their life effectively ends. Therefore they see no point in acting on goals such as returning to school or embarking on a second career. Another reason people live in the rearview mirror is that this is where they once achieved success. They feel stuck and believe the wheels of success will never again turn in their favor. The opposite is also true. That is, constant focus on past failures creates fear and an unwillingness to choose optimistic outlooks.

Snap Out of It! (or How to Start Living Through the Windshield) While we learn from past experiences and they help us become who we are, rearview-mirror behaviors can be paralyzing. Below are a few tips for a forward looking approach and opening yourself up to life's possibilities and opportunities:  

Set the Intention. Make a commitment (preferably in writing) to choose hopeful and optimistic outlooks for your life. Most successful people put their goals and intentions in writing. Write an intention such as, "Each day I choose positive and optimistic outlooks for my life."

Reframe Your Thoughts. Whenever you generate a thought like "my life is over," replace it with a positive belief such as "my best days are ahead of me." Repeating this process helps you form positive thoughts and shifts your beliefs.

Learn from Others. McDonald's founder Ray Kroc is noted for saying, "When I started the company, I was 52 years old. I had diabetes, lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland. But I was convinced that the best was ahead of me." Kroc chose the windshield approach. Seek opportunities to learn from people like Kroc who have been in your shoes and who overcame their situation.

Take Action. Take one small step toward creating the life you really want (and deserve!). If your goal involves furthering your education, meet with an academic advisor to discuss returning to school. Taking action is liberating and helps removes perceived barriers to growth.

Choosing to move forward may seem scary and you may feel like retreating when you see roadblocks. Understand that one of the best gifts you can give yourself is to live in the optimism that is already yours. Claim it! You do not need permission, so start living through the windshield of hope and optimism today.

The Trouble With Asking “What Am I Doing Wrong?”

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." ~ Marianne Williamson.

As you seek opportunities and solutions for moving toward your goals, at times you may feel you're not getting the results you want. Soon you embark on a self-induced cycle of asking, "What am I doing wrong?"

Although it is important to evaluate where you and where you are going, as well as what's working and what's not working, constantly asking yourself "What am I doing wrong?" is not the best approach.

Many studies show that focusing on problems tends to create fatigue and resistance, whereas looking for opportunities to build on strengths inspires and motivates you.

Why You Get What You Focus On
There's an area of the brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS, pronounced "raz"). Its most important function is considered to be its control of consciousness; this includes its ability to filter out non-essential information and consciously focus attention on something.

For example, you buy a car and you soon notice other cars of the same make, model, and color. Or your TV is quietly playing in the background when suddenly you hear a certain word and automatically you begin listening to what's being said.

That is because your brain focuses on where you put your energy and it creates its reality around that. In other words, you get what you focus on.

So when you put all your energy on the negative, that is what your brain processes. When you focus your thoughts on what's not working in your life, you create more of that reality.

Instead, ask yourself what reality you want to create and spend time focusing on that. In essence, focus on what you want, rather than what you do not want.

This doesn't mean ignoring challenges or areas for improvement. It does mean that always focusing on what's wrong does not produce the results you want.

Shift Your Focus
Two simple ways to shift your focus from what's not working (and change your results) are:

1. Focus on your strengths and how they can help you overcome challenges and create the reality you want.
2. Celebrate small milestones as a reminder of your progress and what's working.

Never doubt the power within to create your reality and always remember you deserve peace, love, and success.

Why Changing Your Environment Can Change Your Life

"Be selective about your external influences. Your multi-dimensional brain is influenced by everything you see, hear, read, smell, touch, feel or say." ~ Brian Tracy

What's one of the best ways to change the results in your life? Change your environment!

Your environment includes people you associate with, books you read, places you visit, television shows you watch, and other elements that influence your thoughts, beliefs, values, and attitudes.

Surrounding yourself with positive people and other positive influences helps you develop a positive mindset and leads to positive outcomes.

The legendary Jim Rohn taught that over time you will have the combined attitude, health, and income of the FIVE people you hang around the most.

Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, explains Rohn, find those who represent the success you want and spend more time with them. Join organizations, clubs, businesses and health clubs where these people are and make friends.

Decide if there are people you will spend less time with and whether there are new people you will bring into your environment to support your goals and dreams.

Also consider how elements such as books you read, places you visit, and music you listen to influence your thoughts and attitude about yourself and others. How well do they support your attitude? Do they instill positive values? Do they empower you?

As you assess your environment and replace negative elements with positive ones, you change your results and your life.

How to Relieve Stress and Attract Positive Energy

"Nature tops the list of potent tranquilizers and stress reducers. The mere sound of moving water has been shown to lower blood pressure." ~ Patch Adams

Remember when you were a kid and playing outdoors was the highlight of your day? As the sound of your laughter drifted across the evening sky, you begged to stay outside a few minutes longer.

Over time, it is not unusual for increased responsibilities and stressors to replace those magical outdoor moments.

Nature's Healing Effect
As you seek ways to relieve the stresses in your life, know that a remedy lies in what you once -- and most likely still crave... the outdoors! According to scientists, humans have an innate need to be outdoors.

In his book Stress is a Choice, David Zerfoss explains, "Nature has a natural healing effect on us and serves as a natural stress reliever."

While this may come as no surprise, Zerfoss shares a scientific study where hospital patients who had windows in their rooms often healed faster. He also shares a study which reveals that the smell of freshly-cut grass decreased the blood pressure of drivers with road rage.

Rejuvenation and Positive Energy
To reap the benefits of being outdoors, spend time enjoying activities such as walking, gardening, and hiking. If necessary, schedule outdoor activities several times per week until they become a habit.

These activities also reinvigorate you and rejuvenate your mind thereby helping you generate new thoughts and ideas.

The positive energy you generate by participating in and enjoying your outdoor experiences allows you to attract positive energy.

As you may know, energy attracts like energy. Therefore, positive energy (such as joy) attracts positive energy and negative energy (such as dissatisfaction) attracts negative energy.

So go on, get outdoors! Invigorate your body and lift your spirit.

Spring Ahead! 2 Powerful Habits to Move Your Life Forward

"Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values... your values become your destiny." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Spring symbolizes a time of life, rebirth, and growth. As the clock springs ahead and the sun dances across the sky a little longer each day, we embrace the season's arrival and the energy it brings.

So how will you spring ahead in your own life? Here are two powerful habits to adopt:

Release Limiting Beliefs
Like a tree sheds its leaves in autumn and grows new ones in the spring, you possess the ability to release limiting beliefs and replace them with positive ones. Many of your limiting beliefs are learned; you were not born with them. Therefore, they can be changed.

To replace limiting beliefs with positive ones, practice this simple process: write down 2-3 limiting beliefs. Replace each one with a positive belief. For example, replace "I can't make good decisions" with "I make positive choices that help me live my best life."

Each time you begin stating an old belief, repeat the positive belief 10 times. Do this until the new belief becomes something you say automatically.

Travel Your Own Path
Sometimes you may compare and contrast your life with the successes others achieve. You may feel self-pity and wish for their lives and successes.

First, give gratitude for the blessings in your life. Then, recognize that you can achieve your heart's desires. However, the path you travel to get there is your own.

Once you accept this, it becomes easier to travel your own unique path. As you move forward on your journey, you may ask God/the Universe/Higher Power to help you manifest your desires and/or fulfill your purpose.

Whenever you become aware of your desire to travel someone else's path, remind yourself of your unique journey. Choose to believe there is enough for everyone; and that in your life, abundance can blossom from possibility into your reality.

The more you integrate these habits into your thoughts and actions, the more they help you move your life forward.

How To Approach Annoying People and Situations

“If you don’t get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants—or skirt—to give you some remedial work.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

“Why does my pesky co-worker keep asking me to teach her the same task over and over?” “How come my cousin never comes to my defense when I’m faced with conflict?” “Why is my friend such a scatterbrain? You won’t believe what she did!”

I’ve been asked these and other questions by people frustrated with everything from co-workers to relatives.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, here’s an approach that benefits you and the other person.

Seek First To Understand
You may not always know what someone has experienced or is experiencing in his or her life or why s/he acts in a certain way. Perhaps the co-worker who repeatedly requests your help is fearful of making mistakes and sees you as someone s/he can trust to help overcome the situation.

When you take the time to treat others with patience and understanding, rather than with judgments and criticisms, the same comes back to you and the other person remembers you for how you treated him or her.

It’s Not About Them, It’s About You
Your frustrating experiences are usually not about the other person. Quite often they are about how YOU choose to respond in those moments. Do you treat others with kindness and respect? Do you treat them like they matter? Or do you see them as idiots who deserve your ire?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

All of humanity is faced with situations that test us and build our character. When you choose to respond with anger, impatience, or disrespectfulness, the lesson (patience, respect, understanding, humility...) continues to show up until it is learned.

This concept can be difficult for some to grasp. “You don’t understand,” they’ll say, “this person is taking up my time…making my life miserable…inconveniencing me…” So they continue to respond in the same manner while wondering why such frustrating situations persist.

Certainly you get to set boundaries so others treat you fairly and respectfully. Even so, you can choose to resolve situations respectfully.

The next time you are faced with an "annoying" person or frustrating situation, stop and think of the other person and choose how you will respond to him or her. Remember, s/he is your fellowman. And ask yourself what lesson you may be learning in that moment.