How To Approach Annoying People and Situations

“If you don’t get the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants—or skirt—to give you some remedial work.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

“Why does my pesky co-worker keep asking me to teach her the same task over and over?” “How come my cousin never comes to my defense when I’m faced with conflict?” “Why is my friend such a scatterbrain? You won’t believe what she did!”

I’ve been asked these and other questions by people frustrated with everything from co-workers to relatives.

If you’ve been in a similar situation, here’s an approach that benefits you and the other person.

Seek First To Understand
You may not always know what someone has experienced or is experiencing in his or her life or why s/he acts in a certain way. Perhaps the co-worker who repeatedly requests your help is fearful of making mistakes and sees you as someone s/he can trust to help overcome the situation.

When you take the time to treat others with patience and understanding, rather than with judgments and criticisms, the same comes back to you and the other person remembers you for how you treated him or her.

It’s Not About Them, It’s About You
Your frustrating experiences are usually not about the other person. Quite often they are about how YOU choose to respond in those moments. Do you treat others with kindness and respect? Do you treat them like they matter? Or do you see them as idiots who deserve your ire?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

All of humanity is faced with situations that test us and build our character. When you choose to respond with anger, impatience, or disrespectfulness, the lesson (patience, respect, understanding, humility...) continues to show up until it is learned.

This concept can be difficult for some to grasp. “You don’t understand,” they’ll say, “this person is taking up my time…making my life miserable…inconveniencing me…” So they continue to respond in the same manner while wondering why such frustrating situations persist.

Certainly you get to set boundaries so others treat you fairly and respectfully. Even so, you can choose to resolve situations respectfully.

The next time you are faced with an "annoying" person or frustrating situation, stop and think of the other person and choose how you will respond to him or her. Remember, s/he is your fellowman. And ask yourself what lesson you may be learning in that moment.