Are You Living Through the Rearview Mirror or the Windshield?

In 1987 Cher popularized the phrase, "Snap out of it!" through her Oscar-winning performance in Moonstruck. [Watch video clip]. Since then the phrase has been used to jolt others out of some deluded thought or belief.

This includes jolting people out of their B.S. (belief system) that their best life lies in the past and the future represents a cesspool of hopelessness. People who buy into this belief live in the rearview mirror of life rather than the windshield of hope, optimism, and opportunity.

"Opportunities fly by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, and the happiness that comes to us we heed not, because of the happiness that is gone." ~ Jerome K. Jerome

Reasons You Live in the Past One reason some people live in the past is they believe once they reach a certain age their life effectively ends. Therefore they see no point in acting on goals such as returning to school or embarking on a second career. Another reason people live in the rearview mirror is that this is where they once achieved success. They feel stuck and believe the wheels of success will never again turn in their favor. The opposite is also true. That is, constant focus on past failures creates fear and an unwillingness to choose optimistic outlooks.

Snap Out of It! (or How to Start Living Through the Windshield) While we learn from past experiences and they help us become who we are, rearview-mirror behaviors can be paralyzing. Below are a few tips for a forward looking approach and opening yourself up to life's possibilities and opportunities:  

Set the Intention. Make a commitment (preferably in writing) to choose hopeful and optimistic outlooks for your life. Most successful people put their goals and intentions in writing. Write an intention such as, "Each day I choose positive and optimistic outlooks for my life."

Reframe Your Thoughts. Whenever you generate a thought like "my life is over," replace it with a positive belief such as "my best days are ahead of me." Repeating this process helps you form positive thoughts and shifts your beliefs.

Learn from Others. McDonald's founder Ray Kroc is noted for saying, "When I started the company, I was 52 years old. I had diabetes, lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland. But I was convinced that the best was ahead of me." Kroc chose the windshield approach. Seek opportunities to learn from people like Kroc who have been in your shoes and who overcame their situation.

Take Action. Take one small step toward creating the life you really want (and deserve!). If your goal involves furthering your education, meet with an academic advisor to discuss returning to school. Taking action is liberating and helps removes perceived barriers to growth.

Choosing to move forward may seem scary and you may feel like retreating when you see roadblocks. Understand that one of the best gifts you can give yourself is to live in the optimism that is already yours. Claim it! You do not need permission, so start living through the windshield of hope and optimism today.

The Trouble With Asking “What Am I Doing Wrong?”

"We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." ~ Marianne Williamson.

As you seek opportunities and solutions for moving toward your goals, at times you may feel you're not getting the results you want. Soon you embark on a self-induced cycle of asking, "What am I doing wrong?"

Although it is important to evaluate where you and where you are going, as well as what's working and what's not working, constantly asking yourself "What am I doing wrong?" is not the best approach.

Many studies show that focusing on problems tends to create fatigue and resistance, whereas looking for opportunities to build on strengths inspires and motivates you.

Why You Get What You Focus On
There's an area of the brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS, pronounced "raz"). Its most important function is considered to be its control of consciousness; this includes its ability to filter out non-essential information and consciously focus attention on something.

For example, you buy a car and you soon notice other cars of the same make, model, and color. Or your TV is quietly playing in the background when suddenly you hear a certain word and automatically you begin listening to what's being said.

That is because your brain focuses on where you put your energy and it creates its reality around that. In other words, you get what you focus on.

So when you put all your energy on the negative, that is what your brain processes. When you focus your thoughts on what's not working in your life, you create more of that reality.

Instead, ask yourself what reality you want to create and spend time focusing on that. In essence, focus on what you want, rather than what you do not want.

This doesn't mean ignoring challenges or areas for improvement. It does mean that always focusing on what's wrong does not produce the results you want.

Shift Your Focus
Two simple ways to shift your focus from what's not working (and change your results) are:

1. Focus on your strengths and how they can help you overcome challenges and create the reality you want.
2. Celebrate small milestones as a reminder of your progress and what's working.

Never doubt the power within to create your reality and always remember you deserve peace, love, and success.

Why Changing Your Environment Can Change Your Life

"Be selective about your external influences. Your multi-dimensional brain is influenced by everything you see, hear, read, smell, touch, feel or say." ~ Brian Tracy

What's one of the best ways to change the results in your life? Change your environment!

Your environment includes people you associate with, books you read, places you visit, television shows you watch, and other elements that influence your thoughts, beliefs, values, and attitudes.

Surrounding yourself with positive people and other positive influences helps you develop a positive mindset and leads to positive outcomes.

The legendary Jim Rohn taught that over time you will have the combined attitude, health, and income of the FIVE people you hang around the most.

Whatever area of your life you want to see improvement in, explains Rohn, find those who represent the success you want and spend more time with them. Join organizations, clubs, businesses and health clubs where these people are and make friends.

Decide if there are people you will spend less time with and whether there are new people you will bring into your environment to support your goals and dreams.

Also consider how elements such as books you read, places you visit, and music you listen to influence your thoughts and attitude about yourself and others. How well do they support your attitude? Do they instill positive values? Do they empower you?

As you assess your environment and replace negative elements with positive ones, you change your results and your life.