It’s Time To Stop Blaming Yourself

“When you know better, you do better.” ~ Maya Angelou

As humans, we do not always take the best course of action. This means we are likely to make mistakes that hurt others -- including our loved ones.

Years later, unable to forgive ourselves, we live in a state of perpetual blame and guilt. It's time to stop blaming yourself for negative decisions and actions you've made in the past.

Whether you didn't spend enough time with your children, didn't love your parents enough... forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on.

If you've genuinely asked for the forgiveness of others (and you'd be wise to do so); yet they continue to hold your actions against you, you are no longer responsible for facilitating their forgiveness.

This does not mean you resent those individuals who are not willing to forgive you. They may not be ready to do so and perhaps they never will.

Unawareness (or unconsciousness) of how your actions might affect others can cause you to think and act in ways that do not promote positive outcomes. (For more on consciousness, I HIGHLY recommend the book A New Earth.)

For example, you might have been unaware that spending more time at the office, instead of with your children, caused them to feel neglected and abandoned.

To paraphrase the wise Maya Angelou, now that you know better, you DO BETTER.

To Achieve Your Goals Follow This Golden Rule

As a new year approaches, many people will set out to achieve new goals and dreams.

While some will make excuses, procrastinate, or wait for the "right time" before moving forward, others will bring their goals to reality by choosing to take purposeful action!

Although strategies such as planning, visualization, and putting your goals in writing are important to achieving success; ultimately, taking purposeful action gets you there.

In his book, Goals, Gary Ryan Blair hit the nail on the head when he identifies purposeful action as one of the 10 Rules for Achieving Success. Below is an excerpt:

Take Purposeful Action
The odds that you'll succeed without taking action are about the same as winning the lottery without buying a ticket!

For those times when you feel trapped, stressed, or in a prison of your own making, take purposeful action. It's your Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card.

You can't just stick out your thumb and hitchhike your way to success, you've got to roll up your sleeves and do the work that needs to be done.

The cure for the ills of procrastination is a heavy prescription of action, until the day arrives when your dreams and their achievement are one in the same.

Be seduced by the attractiveness of your goal.

A good plan will almost always get you in the door, but it is action that seals the deal. So you want a guarantee? Well here it is:

Without purposeful action, the only guarantee is FAILURE AND MEDIOCRITY!

Dreams become reality through one simple mode of transportation: purposeful action.

For more information on Goals: The 10 Rules for Achieving Success, click here.

What action will you take today toward achieving your goal or dream?

Want To Be Happier? Stop Looking Outside Yourself

"Expecting something outside of you to get better in order for you to make your life work...is something for you to take a hard look at." ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Have you ever told yourself you would be happier if you won the lottery, had a better job, lost weight, or found a new love? If so, you're not alone.

People often believe something outside of themselves will make them happier. For some, more money would indeed solve daily challenges such as the ability to pay bills. For others, a change in their weight or work life might boost their mood.

The truth is, external elements bring only temporary happiness. Once you have enough money to pay your bills, have lost weight, or have fallen in love, your happiness subsides and you begin looking for the next external element to make you happy.

When Hollywood director Tom Shadyac began making millions through hit films such as Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty, he noticed that as he acquired huge mansions and fancy cars, he wasn't any happier. After facing his own death, Tom gained clarity and purpose and gave up most of his material possessions. He documents his journey in the movie, I Am.

Happiness begins within you. Love and appreciate yourself, choose positive thoughts, be grateful for what you have, and make the most of your situation. The things you take for granted everyday...clean water, electricity, clothes...are blessings for someone else.

When you choose to live in this way, you attract more positivity and happiness into your life.

In the words of Buddha, "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."

To Set Yourself Up For Success Ask This Important Question

As you set out to achieve your goals and dreams, you may be asking what you need to do in order to bring them to fruition.

Another important question to ask is, "Who do I need to become to get from where I am to where I want to be?" Who you are is not a matter of what you do for a living. Rather, it is a matter of who you are on the inside.

Here are a few questions to consider (and why to consider them) as you assess who to become:

Am I grateful for what I already have?
Why: Be grateful for what you already have before expecting more.
This also means being grateful for your challenges because they serve a purpose in your life. "If you start focusing on what you have and what you're grateful for, you will begin to see more." ~ Oprah Winfrey

Do I operate from my ego or from humility?
Why: The ego is the source of many of our problems.
As Eckhart Tolle states in his blockbuster book, A New Earth, "Many people don't realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are."

Do I genuinely care about others?
Why: Life is largely about caring for your fellowman.
When you care about others you enrich their lives and ultimately your own. Watch this short, powerful video of a CNN Hero who does exactly that.

Do I choose positive thoughts over negative ones?
Why: Whatever you give your focus and energy to, that is what you attract into your life.
You may not always be able to control what happens to you in life. However, you can choose your attitude.

As you assess who to become to get to where you want to be, consider qualities that will strengthen your character, attract opportunities into your life, and positively set you up to manage the successes (and setbacks) that come your way.

Celebrate Your Successes - You've Earned Them!

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

When people hear the word "success," they often think of lofty achievements such as wealth, fame, and the accumulation of material possessions.

We tend to get so caught up in this definition of success that we overlook other achievements in our lives.

When you reflect on your life, you will see you've achieved many successes -- successes you EARNED!

Think back on those moments when you were hired for a new job, raised a family, started a business, performed acts of kindness, chose a healthier lifestyle, or learned a new skill.

In his book, The Success Principles, Jack Canfield cites a management study which reveals that 46% of employees left their company because they felt unappreciated and 88% said they were not acknowledged for their work.

People have an inherent need to be acknowledged and appreciated. Start by acknowledging yourself for your successes.

Create a list of successes you've achieved over your lifetime. The list can be as long or as short as you'd like. This exercise allows you to see success in a different way and helps amplify your self-worth.

Once you've acknowledged your successes, CELEBRATE them; you've earned it!

Are You Making This Routine Mistake With Your Health?

"The greatest wealth is health." ~ Virgil

Failure and mistakes are an important part of growth and success as Denzel Washington noted in his recent commencement speech at the University of Pennsylvania. Watch Video >

Mistakes will best serve you when you learn from them. So what routine mistake do millions of people make every day and how can they learn from it? They fail to take a break throughout their work day and may even work up to 11 hours a day on a regular basis.

A 12-year study of more than 7,000 healthy adults in the United Kingdom shows that people who put in at least 11 hours a day up their risk of a heart attack or dying from heart disease by 67 percent. Read More >

As someone who often spent long hours working in an office, I have learned there is no virtue in allowing the health of my mind and body to take second place.

Now, I take short breaks throughout the day, usually from 5 to 30 minutes. I take a walk, grab a snack, or briefly watch TV.

When you take a break you:

• Feel refreshed and energized
• Think more clearly
• Reduce health risks
• Generate new thoughts and ideas that may lead to problem solving

You will never find the time, you must make the time to give your mind and body the break they deserve. Make (and keep) an appointment with yourself each day to take a break or ask a friend or co-worker to hold you accountable to taking breaks.

As Denzel Washington quipped in his commencement address, "You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse." In other words you can't take it with you, so make time for you.

___________________________
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A Real Leader Saves Children from a Trash Dump

Not only is Elena Durón Miranda a CNN Hero, she is a leader of character. Durón Miranda learned that many children in Bariloche, a popular city for skiers and tourists in southern Argentina, drop out of school and spend their lives working at a trash dump.

She then launched an organization to provide them with free education and extracurricular programs so they have an alternative to working.